Winter House
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Run for your life.
Im not just talking about a few shipments, I am talking about awhole Mortville of boxes.
No outfit that has sleeves with the gloves attached will go unworn.
No middle-aged man reliving his fraternity dreams will go un-yelled at by his wife/girlfriend/partner.
Or, actually, maybe youshouldstick around because things are about to get good.
Kyle brings along Amanda, who is now his wife.
They both say that married life has mellowed and matured Kyle.
I know from personal experience that this is a true phenomenon.
When you finally convince a commitment-phobe to get married, their worst fear has been realized.
But once theyre married and its not so bad, well then you have removed their greatest fear.
Then they end up being loving and supporting partners.
When asked what the next step in their relationship is, Kyle says, Orgies.
I will happily join.
(This was filmed shortly after the season ofSouthern Charmthat just aired wrapped.)
Paige says that this is the longest amount of time that the long-distance couple will have spent together.
Returning from last year is Luke, who Craig doesnt like for a reason that he doesnt state.
He says their personalities dont mesh.
Later we hear that Luke had Craig and Austen out to his lake house in Minnesota.
Craig says they were staying in a shed and Luke says it is his guest cabin.
Luke says he was storing a box of fireworks in the guest cabin.
I dont know, broseph.
If youre using it to store things it sounds more like a shed.
Arent all the fireworks in Manhattan set off from dot dot dog barges?
Im a little over Luke.
He seems to have gone from loveable himbo to punchable fuckboi when I wasnt even looking.
(And by looking, I mean ogling.)
That is when he decides to ask her what is up with her and Jason.
Oh, wait …Maybe…
Speaking of Luke, he is described as Hockey Coach/Entrepreneur.
Craig is a Lawyer/Entrepreneur even though hes practiced the law about as recently as Michelle Obama.
Kyle is also an Entrepreneur.
This is like the gaslighting of job titles, overused to the point of meaninglessness.
Actually, its not meaningless.
Its usually reserved for people like, oh, Joe Giudice who entrepreneur-ed himself all the way to prison.
The one that takes the cake though is newbie Jessica who is a Real Estate Agent / Metaverse Entrepreneur.
Can you even have a made-up job title in a made-up world?
Um, your cameo in the first episode ofThe Flight Attendantdoes not make you an actor.
Luke replies that hes in crypto too.
Yeah, Im sure Luke is in crypto.
When theyre in the hot tub together, Jessica tells him that maple syrup is her favorite thing.
Jessica isnt the only newbie in the house.
Wait, was this all planned?
Was the florist a …plant?
(I have dad jokes and the bod to match.)
I think that tells you everything you’re gonna wanna know about Kory.
What kind of Harry Styles gay-baiting is this?
She says it has been replaced by a wall.
It is entirely unremarkable.
She is the cool girl.
She stays up late with the dudes.
She loves a hot tub.
Oh Em Gee, she really is Lindsays long-lost twin sister.
That night its Amandas turn to host the party and its a double trouble night.
Everyone has to pick a costume out of one of the legion of Amazon boxes.
The night is marked by one deep conversation between Amanda and Paige.
That has got to be awful.
Paige is wonderfully supportive and tells Amanda she will have a baby once her body sorts itself out.
I dont make these rules, I am just happy to enforce them.
Is Rachael feeling anyone?
Is Ciara going to choose Kory over Austen?
Is Jason going to get with Jessica?
(No no no no no no no no.)
I guess were left with Craig, stomping on tables and screaming at Amanda for no good reason.
Were stuck with him in the kitchen punching a pinata held by his friend Kory for no good reason.
