Winter House
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Its a whole new era for the artist formerly known asWinter House.
This season, we have a cast from across the Bravo diaspora.
Kory Keefer has also returned to fuckboy himself all over a whole new location.
I think this is a great idea.
I hope they have time to get to know one another and see where the chemistry lies.
Were also in a new house in a new state.
Instead of Kyles native Stowe, Vermont, were in Steamboat Springs, Colorado.
Three couples land in the house immediately.
They tell us its like a relationship without the sex, which, really, is most relationships.
Then we get Danielle Olivera and her friend, Casey Craig.
kindly avoid at all costs!
Its giving me major Jess from last season vibes, and I do not like it at all.
The final couple is Kyle and Amand … no wait.
Its Kyle and Kory.
Has Bravo been reading my Wattpad slash fiction about these two?
Is this a gift just for me?
I would join whatever sex cult these two are leading, no matter what the initiation is.
The next couple to arrive is Brian Benni and Alex Propson.
Im sorry, but I cant watch every single program on Bravo.
Dont you dare tell Andy.
The last to arrive is Jordan Emanuel from the aforementioned Marthas Vineyard edition ofSummer House.
The rest of the episode unfolds in the usual manner for this show.
So much easier to load you in with, my dear.
Heres to condoms and rattlesnakes, two things I dont fuck with, he says.
What is the opposite of a panty dropper, because that is what this line is?
Is it a wedgie?
Is it a thong mustache?
Is it an air fryer?
Im at a loss.
What this episode is all about is who is attracted to whom.
When Danielle first meets Alex, she says, Do I like this well-conditioned-hair man?
I have two eyes [pregnant pause] and a vagina.
Girl, lets hope that pause isnt too damn pregnant, okay?
Danielle is single now.
Im glad they both see that.
Well, thats not entirely true because they are both going after Jordan.
After Jordan shoots him down, he goes to bed, but now its Brians turn.
To the no, no, no.
The next morning, neither of them remembered that they even tried it because they were so drunk.
Her response: Why dont you stick to one girl at a time.
But instead, its the tale as old as time, familiar ways to watch asshole men embarrass themselves.
Welcome to the new era, same as the old one, I guess.
