Winter House
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Sandoval and facial hair are not a good match.
Jessica apologizes for always calling Kory Craig.
Craig is sorry that he yelled at his buddy Luke.BEEEEEPPPPP.
That is theWinter Houselie detector, and it just went off.
Um, Paige better be excellent in bed.
After all, its where she spends practically all of her time.
Oh, sorry, Austen.
Someone forgot to switch off theWinter Houselie detector.
Austen says about his time this summer, That is not the person I am.BEEEPPP.
Thats not the person I want to be.BEEEEEEEEPPP.
Thats not the person I need to be to this group of friends.BEEEEEEPPPP.
TheWinter Houselie detector has been worked to death.
The next morning everyone wakes up, and the house is in quite a state.
Its worse than Ciaras bed dressed up as the Pacific Garbage Patch for Halloween.
There are empty Loverboy cans everywhere.
The sink is literally clogged with dishes.
And this is what it looks like when the Toms Schwartz and Sandoval arrive.
This is the kind of shit that I really love on one of these shows.
Its our favorite drunken goofballs putting all of their differences aside and just having a blast.
The final game is some kind of capture the flag.
Look, everyone is cleaning.
Oh, not Craig.
Oh, not Paige.
Oh, not Ciara.
You think a professional can take this on in anafternoon?
This place needs to be power-washed, disinfected, saged, exorcized, and then fumigated.
That is going to take weeks.
Then all of the boys decide to strip down and get into the hot tub to reverse the shrinkage.
Why does this look exactly like every summer I spent in Fire Island?
There is even one dude with decorative muscles wearing pearls talking about the three-ways hes had.
Sorry, I dont make the rules.
The first crumble is a continuation of what weve seen happen in slow motion for the past few episodes.
Amanda is thinking,Bitch, I told you.
I told you and you didnt listen.
The other couple we hear about is Tom Schwartz and Katie Just Malone Now, Thank You Very Much.
The pair announced their split less than two weeks later.
Nothing will help you get over the meanest person on television like getting underneath another mean person on television.
Um, for the highest-quality man in this house?
No, sister, you are not settling.
That, ladies and gentlegays, is how you get a man interested in you.
Meanwhile, the exact opposite thing is happening with Kory and Jessica.
Yes, that means not letting on at all that he likes someone.
Okay, I would like to clarify this stance.
That only works if you look like Kory.
Theyre snuggling on the couch and she tells him that they have to wait to fuck.
It would be absolutely disgusting if it werent so effective.
Ugh, why do guys like that always get the girls?
I want sweet, sweet Jason to be just as happy by doing things the nice, romantic way.
Also super-romantic is Kory telling the boys he denied Jess sex the next day.
As they continued to grind their bodies against each other, Luke stirred to consciousness.
You guys all right over there?
he asked as he rolled over in their direction.
Everythings fine just the way we are.
