Winter House
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This season is turning a bit into a frostbittenLove Island.
Theres a little bit of interpersonal drama, but it is settled pretty quickly.
Im not saying I hate it, but it does seem a little one-dimensional.
Speaking of the beef, lets get that out of the way first.
See, this man has learned from Kyle.
Casey tells Kory that she shouldnt have done it; she feels bad, and shes sorry.
Gosh, its almost gone so fast its boring.
Well, its at least gone until Sam shows up in a couple of weeks.
Speaking of new arrivals,Below Deckveteran Rhylee Gerber stops by because shes driving her fan cross country.
Based on what we know of the hot-tempered (and often mistreated) deckhand, that totally tracks.
(I mean Brian Benni because this Brian already has a crush on her.)
Shes already had a star moment when Brian says that he doesnt really chase women.
Maybe Rhylee should be a little bit more forceful.
Brian and Rhylee are just setting things up, though some couples are already developing in the house.
The major coupling, of course, is Danielle and Alex.
When Amanda arrives, we learn that she and Danielle have gotten very close over the last few months.
I wonder why that is?
Does it have to do with a lack of sandwiches being made in Danielles life?
Things start to go wrong throughout the day because Alex is such a flirt.
Thats a sweet thing to say to the person youre having sex with at the moment.
But then Katie says that her leotard is really riding up, and he says, Lucky leotard.
Dude, Danielle is just there!
And if hes giving everyone these sexy compliments, how is Danielle supposed to feel special?
It gets even worse when hes talking to Jordan.
He tells her that hes not happy with some of the decisions hes made on the trip.
He says that he just gets into party mode and goes with it.
Did he really think that Jordan was going to fall for that?
Shes been celibate for 18 months.
Shes not dusting off those cobwebs for some fuckboy.
Luckily, she tells us that now that hes hooked up with Danielle, theres no chance for him.
As my imaginary husband Kyle Cooke says, this is not an environment that allows for casual sex.
These people are stuck together 24 hours a day for two weeks.
Once youve boned, youve set yourselves apart, and you cant be hooking up with other people.
I mean, I dont blame him.
Not only is Jordan gorgeous, but she also has by far the best outfit for the Indian feast.
The final couple is Katie and Tom Schwartz, and I have deja vu all over again.
This is the dumbest thing Ive ever heard for a number of reasons.
First, he says it would be disrespectful to Katie.
Also, he disrespected her for much of their marriage.
Is he going to start respecting her now?
And now Katie MSM is totally over him and basically never wants to talk to him again.
She doesnt care what Tom does at this point.
(I cant believe were at a Katie F and a Katie MSM point like were in kindergarten.)
Also, her first name is Kate or Katherine or something like that.
Use one of those names.
The problem, as Malia points out, is that he isnt really her key in.
Toms out here catching strays when Malia says she usually dates chiseled, direct, good-looking men.
At least the episode ends with Tom finally taking charge and sucking face in the back of a van.
What else would you expect from aBelow Deckcast member?
They love a mobile makeout.
And at least the producers got what they wanted, which is more and more Bravo-centric couples.
