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These are not flighty physical therapists who long for substantial Instagram followings; these are grown-ups.
Their desires and their dramas are nuanced, sincere, and meaningful.
In the first few sequences,the premieredoes try.
Gerry speaks movingly about his wife, who died just weeks after they purchased their dream retirement home.
He hugs his daughters and granddaughters.
He talks about how ready he is to embrace this new period in his life.
Who gets time with him?
Whos kissing him already?
Whos been gently steered into a shes unhinged edit?
He wants to see the light in their eyes, he says.
He wants a connection.
But all around him, theBachelormansion sweats decades of high-proof tomfoolery into the air.
The women start to grow desperate.
The final rose wilts next to Jesse Palmers meaty sheen.
Already, the nakedness of this ridiculous set-up feels like the villain.
Shaky footage of a camera follows Gerry down a hallway as he strides away overwrought.
Women comfort one another as they sob in exhaustion and frustration.
Moments later, a woman sobs about the anniversary of her husbands death.
(Lisa Vanderpump is 63!)
They want a fairytale.
Theres no way to ignore or forget that what theyre getting instead isThe Bachelor.
It could have ditchedBacheloraesthetics andBachelorreality structure entirely!
Close your eyes and picture it: Gerrys wearing a casual suit (maybe even no jacket!)
Sure, fine, there could still be rose ceremonies.
The women could wear high-shine, low-neckline dresses if they want, but they could also wear comfortable shoes!
Hats with ample sun protection!
This would be fantastic TV!
This show could have been realityGrace and Frankie.
It couldve been an actual innovation in how broadcast TV imagines the future of reality dating shows.
Instead,The Golden Bachelorappears determined to be something audiences already know all too well: more ofThe Bachelor.
