Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
Ironically, no film this year has pitted critics against each other like Alex GarlandsCivil War.
In one corner, writers who decry the filmslack of specifics about the titular conflict.
(I cant fault the studio for this, either.
(The movie itself mentions only three.)
Could California powered by iconic female characters like Saoirse Ronans Lady Bird and20th Century Womens Dorothea Fields prevail?
Would the neon-lit crazies of A24s Florida movies be able to win their independence?
Or would the massive manpower of all those New York City dramedies overpower all comers?
Thats what were here today to find out.
(Note: Were going by where films are set, not where they were shot.
Western Forces
States:California and Texas.
Instead, just admire the breadth of talent on display here.
TheBling Ringkids and Andrew Garfields conspiracy-cracking stoner fromUnder the Silver Lakeshould adapt nicely to intelligence work.
Florida punches well above its weight in A24s filmography.
Just as he did inMoonlight, lets hope Mahershala Alis Juan can keep an eye out.
(Likely place for them to be.)
Which is good, because most of the characters here are absolutely not getting involved in a war.
(David Foster Wallace is there on a book tour, too.)
Of course, none of the above applies toHereditary, but lets put a pin in that.
Loyalist States
States:A wide swathe of the country running from the Northeast to the Southwest.
Just imagine youre in a foxhole.
Theyre not sending their best, is what Im trying to say.
Luckily, its not all losers.
So Whos Going to Win?
Thats bad news for the Florida Alliance.
However, you know whats more impressive than being one of the eight kings of Hell?
Being that guys boss.
Can the Western Forces come up with a fighter strong enough to overpower literal Satan?
But shes not fighting demons all on her own.
The West also has Evelyns daughter Jobu Tupaki, whose verse-jumping has given her godlike abilities.
So there you have it.
Isnt that much more satisfying than whatever Alex Garland drew up?
