Keep your friends close and your Tabis closer.
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Not even your friend with an Android could escape this months internet chaos.
But we cant gossip about this too loud or someone might hear you and blast your ass on TikTok.
Instead, find out how online you were this month by taking a look at our roundup.
Weve given each item a number of points from one to five.
For every item you recognize, add up the corresponding points.
JoBro Dojo Casa House:Joe Jonas tried to have his cake by the ocean and eat it too.
Letter-rip:The Notes App apology is so 2020.
Celebrities are making apologyvideosnow, and theyre somehow even worsethan when YouTubers try it.
.Swiper no swiping
.
Lo and behold, she discovered her $1,000 Maison Margiela Tabi Mary-Janes were missing the next morning.
Then the internet stepped in.
Why its a 2:This was a TikTok/X joint production, a rare combo with unstoppable energy.
Douge was interviewedby the New YorkTimesandVogueand inspired a 36-hour cycle of meme-ery.
Joshua, meanwhile,was dumped.
But the TikTok must go on.
These vlogs have everything: mud, crying, overstimulating narration, and even aget-ready-with-me-style apology.
How often do men think about the Roman Empire?
Well, definitely a lot more now that every outlet, from theWashingtonPosttolocal newspapers, is talking about it.
Why its a 2:Like girl dinner before it, this gender-based observation catapulted to near-inescapable discourse.
Its good no its bad.
Oh, now its onRyan Reynolds Instagram Story.
And dont think leaving the house means youll escape it.
Its nowat Panera Bread, too.
Think: West Elm Caleb.
I literally manifested it, Bahsoontold Vulturein an interview.
Earlier on in my videos, it was just me pretending to be a runway model on the platform …
The fact that Im here, what is going on?
While only the moderately online will recognize her on the IRL runway, on TikTok shes the main event.
.A (sitting) star is born…
SITTING
Its so rewarding to see a young indie artist finally get his big break.
Sitting has inspired countlesscoverson TikTok, andis even on Spotify.
.Gossip cop
justice for the bride!!
He shared what he heard ina viral TikTokthat eventually made its wayto Marissa herself.
While some people rallied behind Kotzurs cause, other people felt these kinds of videos had gone too far.
there needs to be a minding your own fuckin business renaissance, X user @gusminivansantposted.
She declined an interview) purports that Jenner is actually a stalker who Chalamet is tolerating.
If youre feeling distressed by the video, its okay, Simoneposted on Instagram.
But hey take care of yourself.
Step away from social media for a couple days.
Why its a 3:For a few days, Club Chalamet was Twitters main character.
But it was this tragedy thatbefell high schooler Flo, whose Lamborghini saga has been captivating all of TikTok.
Its hard to know how much of Flos videos are true.
The internet came up with their own ideas, andPughs contributionwas one of many memes that made the rounds.
For that reason, you likely have no one to talk to about it.
On August 15, she shared something she and her husband do called a love surge.
Its sweet and harmless but ultimately revolting to witness.
Time to invest in a love surge protector, the top comment reads.
By September 13, the love surge had blown a fuse, and Lilianna posteda tearful videoaddressing the hate.
If the goal was to make me sad, you did it, you won, she said.
Luckily, it seems Lilianna made a full recovery because the cringe content is alreadyback in full force.
.Celebrity sing-off
IM IN TEARS#dojacat
Tired: Watching a celebrity perform.
Wired: Making a celebrity watchyouperform.
Courteney Coxwas tentatively supportiveand Kelly Clarksonenthusiastically so.
So how online were you this month?
015 POINTS: Kinda plugged in.
Brutal or, rather,brutalis.
1630 POINTS: Above-averagely online.
3144 POINTS: Irreparably internet damaged.
Youve made a video sharing overheard gossip featuring easily identifiable information, and youd do it again!
