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Actual Chuck E. Cheese outlets are still very much around.

We used to be a country. A proper country. Five Nights at Freddy’s.

In fact, theyve been expanding overseas in recent years.

(It was all the rage when I was 10, as I recall.)

The fictional arcade-restaurant in the movie, Freddy Fazbears Pizza, plays into this idea as well.

This is supposed to be scary, I suppose, but its mostly just sad.

Which is crazy, because there is a giant face-eating cupcake in this picture.

Youd thinkthatwould be interesting, or at least interestingly shot.

But, alas, the overwhelming, soul-crushing bleakness of Emma Tammis film steamrolls any momentary promise of fun.

No spoilers, but these plot threads are eventually united in the most inept way imaginable.

But maybe theres method to the movies mediocrity.

So, the movie isnt particularly scary, but its full of jump-scares.

Five Nights at Freddystakes itself too seriously, but that might actually make it a hit.

If it was too frivolous or colorful or goofy, it would turn off adults.

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