Vanderpump Rules
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May this go down as the best episode so far of the post-Scandoval era.
One of the major reasons is the editors of this here reality-television program.
Chefs kiss followed by Salt Bae.
It all starts when Lala takes her talons over the WeHo to have smoothies with Schwartz.
Later that night, Lala goes to Katies to pregame before Hotel Ziggy and tells Katie about the hookup.
(If Schwartz and Scheana were a couple, would we call them Schwartz?
OMG, theyre a romance tautology!
They cannot be combined!)
Lala tells Katie this happened a few years ago, which would land it squarely during her marriage.
Have you ever tried to microwave French fries?
This reheated tea is going to be just as dreadful.
This is what I dont get about straight people.
She also confirms that she did make out with Ariana and no one batted a false eyelash.
Katie isnt upset that it happened, per se, shes just upset that Scheana didnt tell her.
Of course she didnt tell her.
Its my fault, which could have ended it right there.
(There are two.)
Im with Lala on this, though.
Just get away from that man.
Its even worse when she runs into Tii, Billie Lees friend that Tom goes on a date with.
Ariana tells Tii the whole saga of Scandoval as if Tii doesnt have TikTok and a brain.
She also tells her that she is a prize but Sandoval is not.
How does she know that?
I just wish she would be a bit more transparent about her motives.
Schwartz finally has a moment of realization when talking about his past relationship.
Isnt … Sandoval his best friend?
Did that change too?
Anyway, we all know Max.
We remember it all.
Only Scheana could have saved us.
Brock says he told Schwartz this because theres a double standard in the group.
Is he suggesting this invalidates Katie being mad at Schwartz for making out with Scheana?
Because that seems really different.
Or does he mean when Schwartz made out with Rachel last year and Katie got all mad about it?
Max isnt even in the group anymore because of, you know, racism reasons.
Was it great of Katie to sleep with one of Schwartzs besties?
But it was definitely worse of Max to hit it with his besties ex-wife.
Im sorry, the blame is all on the dude in this situation.
But Im glad we know.
Im glad theres something new.
Across town, Ann was sitting at her computer changing the font on her resume.
She played with the bolding, the placement of her headshot, the kerning between the letters.
She updated all of her job duties.
This was going to be the easiest interview of her life.
(Yes, I know itsTennesseeKentucky.)
