Vanderpump Rules
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The answer, to quote the legend Dorinda Medley, isnot well, bitch.
Tom is colluding with his assistant, Ann, a saint with pointy white nails.
Ann just drawls, Yeah … shes gonna be busy.
Can you imagine that 911 call?
Id like to report a noise complaint.
Okay, where is it coming from?
The noise is coming from inside the house.
Cant you just, I dont know, go shut it off?
No, its my ex-boyfriends party, and he wont stop it.
Well, can you ask him to stop?
I tried, but his assistant, Ann, is not answering.
So you called 911?
Its anemergency!!!
like hold, maam.
The police are coming … to arrest you for misusing public resources.
Listen, I get it.
Well, not at Schwartz & Sandys because hes persona non grata there.
I think Lala had it right when Ariana talked to her about the party at lunch.
Lala asks, Cant you text Ann and tell her to have everyone gone by this time?
There is no way Ariana could say no to that.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
It seems like Tom is being reasonable and willing to compromise, and Ariana is not.
Also, there is the whole thing going on with the house.
She doesnt want to make his life easy.
Ken Todd is still alive?
Will someone yo tell him?
Schwartz says hes surprised that Sandoval checked out.
Sandoval deserves some punishment, but lets at least be realistic with our expectations here.
I dont know, guys.
I find this about as believable as Lea Michele writing a memoir.
She could give him money if she wanted to, and probably did.
Can we trust a thing this man says ever again?
Can we trust a thinganyman says ever?
I am a man and a liar.
The conversation ends with the question that I think this whole season is truly asking.
Sandoval says, Are you going to stick with me or what?
Schwartz says, I think Im going to do whats best for me.
I can see how everyone would choose Ariana.
Thename on everybodys lipsis gonna beRoxy.
Why would you side with Sandoval when that is a money-losing proposition?
I think it was a good episode for Sche-Shu, though.
This all seems right; this all seems appropriate.
However, when James arrives at the party, he doesnt like what he sees.
If your only friends are the people you pay, are they really friends?
James calls the party a whos who because hes like Who is that?
Its punctuated perfectly by two guests.
Shes getting in where she fits in!
I dont remember seeing his pretty bearded face even once.
Is he one of Katies secret gays?
But this is the level of Sandovals hangers-on now that hes back.
Like the ultimate betrayal.
Okay, come on now.
The ultimate betrayal is what Tom and Raquel did to Ariana.
This betrayal is not ultimate; its not even moderate; its like a mediocre betrayal at best.
You know, the old Sleeping with her in my bed using my condoms thing.
Yeah, we were real mad about that back in the day, but can we even care now?
However, this is not how he explains it.
Sorry, dude, but you have been exposed.
That trick isnt going to work anymore.
James leaves the party to find Ally waiting in the car.
Ann will pick them up with a thumb and an index finger, holding her nose the whole way.
