Vanderpump Rules
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They start getting into a fight when Tom alleges that he was a good husband.
Yeah, because she was objectively wrong to come to this wedding.
Thats when we get the real reason shes so upset, through her tears.
Yes, this is another fight on the show about being on the show.
And of course they would rather be around Tom.
At least hes not out to ruin your wedding out of spite.
Okay, Raquel, who well get to in a bit, has no business being mean to Katie.
But Scheana Marie Shay Brock Davies Carrington Colby?
Oh, she has more reason to hate Katie than she has last names.
Well, who is the last lady standing?
Meanwhile, at the first dinner of the weekend, Lala has to go running after Scheana to apologize.
Lala doesnt want to go on the bachelorette-party boat trip because Raquel is going to be there.
Scheana tells Lala that it looks like shes choosing Katie over her.
How could this have been avoided?
Oh, if Lalas bestie Katie hadnt bothered to show up.
Then Scheana is like, What about tonight?
You brought Kristina Kelly (always both names!)!
Lala says she didnt know the dinner was a wedding event.
Um, youre there on a wedding weekend, everything you do is a wedding event.
Take a toilet selfie and add the hashtag #ScheanaGotBrocked.
As Katie is upstairs licking her wounds, theres a knock on the door.
Who could it be?
Tom trying to make amends?
Lala trying to hang out?
Peter, who finally just arrived because production forced him to take the bus all the way to Cancun?
I had a lot of guesses, but none was that it was Raquel.
This is some other human.
Is she being coached?
Is she trying to make herself into a reality star?
I dont know, but its working.
No, you cant.
It is her wedding weekend, and she has cousins to ignore.
She does not have time for sit-downs with people who shouldnt even be in the country.
Katie says that she wont be in a prison and if she runs into Scheana, then oops.
Well, know where she would never run into Scheana?
Jesus, this makes me so mad.
They could leave me sopping wet in a pile of my own juices.
Im talking about hitting me with the Champagne gun, of course.
What else would it be?
While the guys are giving me palpitations, the girls are on a catamaran.
Lala has a heart-to-heart with Ally, a woman who is rethinking her Faustian bargain for reality television fame.
Why not just tell this girl to cut and run?
I see your petty.
I appreciate it, but this is the wrong place.
This puts her on Santas naughty list until the day she dies.
But, honestly, I think Lala is worse.
She says that Scheana has so many guests at the party she wont even notice shes not there.
When youre sitting a farts stench away in a brightly lit room with her mortal enemy?
Shes not going to notice that?
While theyre at dinner, Kristina Kelly tells them that shedidget Scheana for a conversation.
Katie says that she wishes that Kristina Kelly never had to have that chat.
Um, know how it could have been avoided?Not going on the fucking trip!!!
This is exactly why Scheana didnt want Katie here, and it is happening.
She is making it happen cause she sucks.
What Tom is saying here is just what Katie is afraid of: He wants her off the show.
), having a few chaste mouth kisses with no tongue at all.
Im less concerned with the kisses and more concerned, honestly, with the #Scandoval of it all.
Here is what I dont understand.
At this point, Sandoval and Raquel were either banging or getting just about ready to bang.
Tom Schwartz doesnt know what is going on between them.
What is going on here?
What is her motive?
Is she trying to deflect from what is really going on because she knows its so much worse?
Does she know shes engaging in a totally fake storyline and is just earning her paycheck?
And what about Sandoval?
Why is he trying to make this happen?
To give his new girl a storyline?
To keep his secrets away from the camera?
Except for Katie, who shouldnt have come on this fucking trip.
