The Great British Baking Show
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Oh, what a lovely pastry week.
Were the evictees a surprise?
But it was still a fun hour.
Not only a savory pie but one made with hot-water crust.
This is when you dissolve lard in hot water and then add it to flour and butter.
For those who dont know, its a Greek dish with spinach, cheese, and filo dough.
Its a French thing.
I wouldnt mess with it.
Paul says, It sounds like a Humberty Gumberty.
Noel says that he once saw Paul Hollywood wearing only those two tiny fabric sacs.
Yes, on his fingers.
He does it all on his own.
God save the Noel.
Naturally, Nickys pies, which look like little almonds, are the grossest of the bunch.
Prue actually says theyre gluey and both judges decide theyre a disaster.
There were plenty of bad pies on display.
Theyre also leaking more than the Trump White House.
Rowan took inspiration from Pigs in a Blanket.
Too bad the pies are terrible.
Paul finds one without a top.
Then he finds one without a bottom.
Its like the worst gay sex party you could imagine.
Both judges think they are far too dry and stodgy, just like Mary Berrys knock-knock jokes.
Now here she is getting a handshake for her overstuffed cream, leek, and mushroom pies.
Paul says he is impressed with it being moist inside with an intricate lattice top.
Where has this Cristy been all this time?
It turns out he was giving Dana and all of us a hint of what was to come.
Last week, I admitted that I firmly believe white chocolate is garbage, and …
I got a lot of support from you, my darling readers!
I do not expect the same support.
Cristys, Nickys, and Joshs are all flatter than Joe Rogan thinks the earth is.
Rowan gets right to it and says that he has seen better turds than his Humberty Gumberty.
(Sorry, its just easier to spell.)
But its Daddy Dan with his perfectly domed Humberty that takes the day.
Now everyone just needs to hold on for the sweet, sweet showstopper.
Everyone is taking their inspiration from different places, some literally because theyre doing pies based on their travels.
Dan is turning his pies into a tree for some reason, but they also represent South America.
(No, hobbits dont live there.)
How old is Rowan?
Was there a sale at Tescos or something?
I hope Troye Sivan didnt get hurt when he hit the ground.
(JK,hes vers.)
As hes preparing his pies, it just looks worse and worse.
She tells him to serve it in the case or else hes not serving anything at all.
It is absolutely gorgeous, with the fruit in the flower pies cut to look just like petals.
Cristy has turned out a gorgeous woodland display for her autumnal latticed pies.
There are little flowers of different colors and different kinds of latticework in each.
I dont know why, but I feel like these look exactly like one of Drew Berrymores wedding dresses.
Paul also says hes never thought of combining raspberries and frangipane before but loves the result.
Between this and the handshake, its clear shes taking the trophy, and she does.
Rowans fate is already sealed, and, yes, he does go home.
Dana also made a tree display, but it sort of looks like a hurricane just blew through town.
Paul says her apple pie is the only dry apple pie hes ever had in his life.
Only one of her pies, made with frangipane (again!)
and plums, is to the judges liking.
And with that, Nicky joins Rowan on the train back to Scotland.
Now lets just see how much longer my girl Saku and Dana can hold on.
