The Valley
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Brittany finally asks flat out if she wants to be in the relationship anymore.
I do, and I dont, Michelle, which is the nicest, No!
I have ever heard.
This woman is done.
She is more done thanthe dishes inDont Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead.
That is the problem right there.
you might never go back to the old kind of love.
Too much has happened in their lives and as a couple.
They should both be focused on a new kind of love.
As soon as you want to recapture the past at the expense of the future, youre absolutely done.
Then Nia comes in and tells Janet that she almost bled out during her labor.
Um, you ladies are seriously not helping.
This woman will now hold it in until its old enough to vote.
He tried to throw it back but it was dead and gets eaten by the worlds laziest seagull.
Guess thats what happens when theyfire the directors wife.
Were talking Denise Richards with her coat on backwards wasted.
Were talking Tequila Katie rage texting wasted.
Were talking about Andy Cohen on CNNs New Years broadcast wasted.
This is a great theme.
Jesse puts on a bunch of tattoos to dress as Harry Styles.
Michelle dresses as booty call Michelle.
Janet dresses as vanilla, because thats how Jason likes it.
Theres a reason its the staple of all flavors; its basic but fucking delicious.
(Get at me, my missionary-style hoes.)
The problem is with Nia and Danny.
Nia was supposed to dress as a bottle of ranch dressing, which is Dannys fantasy.
This is the start of Danny going into a tizzy.
Thankfully, Danny eventually goes to bed, and the annoying night comes to a close.
Thats because she was working overtime, picturing the second sexiest member of One Direction railing her from behind.
and that maybe there is some truth to it, even if Kristen is a known liar.
Lets check in once again on our other doomed couple.
This time its Brittany talking about how awful her relationship is to Janet.
She says that even asking him to go to therapy or just be nice to her doesnt work.
He says that four people once spent $20,000 at one lunch.
That, my friend, is too much lunch.
Its really too much anything, but lunch should be, at most, $20.
Its just there to eat at your machine before you might get creative for dinner.
Im not knocking lunch.
(I also love lessert, which is lunch dessert.)
But, dude, you lunch way too hard.
At the lunch, Jax is talking about how his wife will never leave him.
Shes going to call herself a divorce lawyer and finally leave that no-good rage demon.
In his own confessional, Jax is skeptical about everything that Jesse says, but he shouldnt be.
Yeah, thats why Jaxshouldlisten to this guy.
