The Ultimatum: Queer Love
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Which is very summer camp of them, only theyre also all dating one another.
Maybe thats also very summer camp?
But now four weeks!
Because the trial marriages are almost over with the first group and then were back with original partners.
This is like the dreaded two-on-one dates onThe Bachelorwhen you just want both of them to go home.
Tiff and Sam are toddling along.
Lexi and Mal snuggle a bunch, but platonically.
Mildred tries to talk to Aussie again, and Aussie panics and leaves again.
And then moves out.Aussiiiiiie.
I say again:Aussiiiiiiiiiie.
Mildred has many emotions about being abandoned, which totally makes sense!
Wow, once more, I wish they had a couples therapist on staff.
And we still get the lurid reality television part because were spying on someones therapy?
Also, I wish I had an Emotions Chamber.
In this final week of first-round couples, a lot of them meet important people in their partners life.
Rae meets Vanessas dad, who horrifyingly goes by Big Papa.
I am not saying anything else about Mark related to this!!
But maybe he should shave his beard.
And he maps this onto human relationships.
To that, I say, NOPE.
If you have a relationship that is 99 percent right…youneedit to be 100 percent?
I really cannot advocate therapy enough!
I still cant with this timeline and how they discuss it.
Xan tells Yoly she loves her and says, It didnt make sense for a long time.
What is a long time?
Also, how is no one acknowledging the honeymoon phase of a relationship here?
I also broke up with them because I needed to go to therapy.
(A theme!)
Alicia is both realistic and hilarious.
My notes for this section say, Lexi looks … really good.
I love you, Alicia.
Lexi earnestly tells Alicia that she wants Mal to be a part of her life forever.
Of this whole cast, Id want to be friends with Sam the most.
But I dont know; some people love chaos!
Everyone reflects aloud on the past three weeks.
Tiff talks about their anger issues; Sam is working on speaking up.
Mildred and Aussie get emotional real quick, and Aussie does not feel like Aussie is being represented fairly.
This is reality TV, so that is maybe true!
I mean, what??
And Xan seemed to express ZERO reservations about getting with Yoly.
Are Vanessa and Xan just here to fuck shit up??
Their dynamic is so WEIRD.
Xan is like,Wow, Im so in love with Yoly.
What isupwith Vanessa and Xan?
Okay, second trial marriages!
Everyone is back with their original partner!
Lexi immediately tells Rae she doesnt trust her.
Lexi is saying alotof things that are very dramatic but, again, understandable given the context.
All the other relationships are exhausting this week.
The idea of recapping their emotionally-charged conversational quicksand is daunting, but I will try.
Vanessa and Xan … its weird.
Vanessa has done a 180 and is nowfullyinterested in marrying Xan and having babies.
This is why Im saying I dont trust them!!
Well, I saw you messaged Yoly on Instagram, and I read your messages.Which!
I dontgo into her messages.
Vanessa then tries to force Xan to say I love you back to her.
Mildred and Tiff are …
I dont know about them.
Mildred and Tiffs communication remains bad.
We learn that they break up approximately every two weeks and therefore have had about fifty break-ups.
They went to couples therapy, and the therapist gave up on us.
Sam is now exercising her ability to speak up for herself, which is excellent.
I am very concerned for Aussie!
This whole experience feels like a bad fit that is constantly triggering Aussie.
You cant make any progress with that.
Do you like this drum I keep banging on?
Mal and Yoly seem close to the most genuine.
Yoly is really open about being in love with Xan and tells Mal they had sex.
Mal wants to marry Yoly and brings up that this was her fear going in.
We all heard it!
May we all experience such compassion, honesty, and empathy.
That being said: you never know the inside of a relationship.
Yoly needs Mal to clean up more, save for IVF, and show up.
We get to see Alicia again, and I am delighted.
After Yoly tells Alicia the situation and leaves, Alicia says, This situation is just fucked up.
Trash, Mal replies.
This was maybe the only time I genuinely laughed at this show this week.
Theres a party, and Xan and Yoly get all forbidden love about it, which, sure.
This is what people in soap operas do to their kidnap victims.
Cut all these scenes.
We end with Mal proposing to Yoly in a gazebo.
Mal is wearing drawstring pants.
Lexis boobs, of course, look great.
