The Traitors
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Like all of you, I spent the entirety of this past week shouting ENHANCE!
at a screenshot of MJs partly revealed chalkboard (hashtag Stop the Steal).
Why must our girl persist in writing so small, like shes teaching a class for ants?
At long last, we can confirm who she voted for: Peter.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone the King of the Faithful is dead.
He will call Interpol as soon as the producers give him his phone back.
A somber mood has descended over the group.
So blindingly obvious, John mutters to himself, on the verge of rending his garments.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
That round table was heated, sure, but Phaedra says only fire can turn coal into a diamond.
(I believe Professor Kennedy Davenport published some relevant research oncrystallizationin theJournal of Glamazon Bitch Studies).
Kate leaves the decision in Phaedras hands shes the dead woman walking, after all.
The bell tolls for John.
Having him hold court at another round table would only wound Phaedra more.
He will be missed!
I dont think hes old, MJ a perfect, no-notes human being thinks aloud.
People in England just dont get Botox.
John, for the record, is only 61.
(I was about to write that hewas61.
Have I, too, started to believe thatThe Traitorsis real?)
Thats only seven years older than Sheree and ten months younger than Vicki Gunvalson, in fact!
With any luck, well see John, our dark-horse MVP, in Andys clubhouse soon.
Its like hes on a dating show!
He may be joking, but Im not.
Peacock, Im going to need to see a pilot by Q3.
By now, Phaedra might as well start swanning around the breakfast table in her Traitors robe.
But even as suspicions mount against her, will the Bravo alliance ever fracture?
Nevertheless, MJ, in particular, is receptive to the possibility of finally banishing Phaedra.
They have to dig through a giant pile of dirt to find buried gold nuggets worth $150 each.
They could win up to $30,000, but any gold that falls in the water is lost forever.
Also hidden in all that mud is a shield.
Were talking adultBug Juicehere.
(Ill need that pilot by Q4, thanks in advance.)
Alan cannot contain his laughter.
MJ finds the shield and only barely makes it over the bridge once to get to bank it.
Arent we all convinced there must be two traitors, anyway?
(Let her cook!)
She floats Sandras name as a possible target.
I dig this gameplay.
Even Sheree, Phaedras friend of 30 years, can no longer ignore her doubts.
If shes not a Traitor, then who else could it be?
Help her helpyou, Phaedra!
There are only seven of them left.
Sheree looks her in the eyes and asks outright if shes a Traitor.
Phaedra, normally the coolest of cucumbers, blurts: You said what?
Sheree repeats the question.
I cant imagine the editing did Phaedra any favors here, but its not looking good for her.
Sheree prompts her yet again: Doesnt she haveanythingto say?
Im very exhausted, Phaedra responds.
You just really get tired of fighting.
Shes done so wonderfully at acquitting herself until now, but the walls are closing in.
This is how her time onThe Traitors ends: not with a bang, but a whimper.
Phaedras name appears on chalkboard after chalkboard.
Its official: Phaedra is unanimously banished.
Theres rarely been a better match of personality and show.
That was a little weird, wasnt it?
