The Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip
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Its our fourth day in Thailand, and against all odds, Pepsis spirits are high.
But our lives are real, and we dont get Emmys.
Much like a Taco Bell drive-thru worker, we suddenly hear the calming voice of Lisa Barlow.
First up, a group massage.
We already got Lisa Barlow on the line, so sure, why not FaceTime in the entireRHOSLCcast?
Even Jen, who Heather says she hasnt spoken to (outside of texts) since she pled guilty.
What better time to finally catch up than onUltimate Girls Trip?
You may be wondering what job that might be.
But lest we forget Porshas famous words at theRHOAs season nine reunion, I work for Dish Nation.
I am in the world of journalism.
So as the Barbara Walters of Bravo, Porsha naturally stands by her original reporting.
This is where we see productions obsession with an itinerary really go too far.
Or force-feed each other plates of food using little plastic hands?
Sure, why not.
I dont wanna be negative, she says, despite that being her only character trait.
And lastly, rather than say who gave her the black eye, Heather also opts for the scorpion.
Luckily, there are plenty of opportunities to talk shit in English too.
First, Alexia is taking credit for the franchises that came afterMiami.
But technically, all she said was, We made history; we did a comeback after eight years.
Like what are the chances of another franchise coming [back] after eight years?
Then we somehow get on the subject of Bad Mormon again.
Ladies, ladies, calm down, theres room in the outer darkness for all of us!
After four days of this conversation, all of the other women are completely tired of it.
So imagine how tired we are.
And heres a fourth lie: we care about this feud.
