The Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip
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Well, I take it all back.
Like a bisexual at an orgy, I am switching teams left and right over here.
I usually am a Gizelle partisan and loathe Candiace as much as George Santos loathes fact-checkers.
I have always defended Heather Gay in favor of Whitney.
What is even happening here?
Oh, poor sweet Pepsi.
(If they were American, they would have had their cameras out and been shouting World Star!
the whole time.)
I also feel awful for Leah.
There is nothing worse than getting sick on vacation.
(See above about why Tom had to fill in.)
But period runs?!
Add anything to that and it sucks: Period migraine.
Any of those is probably enough to lay me up until the next months period comes along.
(A note to all period-having folks: Thank you, and Im sorry.)
Then we get to the episodes big fight, which is Gizelles missing bottle of Clase Azul tequila.
Like Gizelle, I am a very picky eater and drinker.
However, unlike Gizelle, my first inclination would not be that someone stole the bottle.
Do you know where it went?
She even gets sweet as Thai-Iced-Tea Pepsi to say that it was probably pilfered.
Porsha shouts, Not Pepsi with the tea.
Porsha, do not give PepsiCo, the corporation that brought usalcohol-free sparkling rose, any free ideas.
(Thank you for your service, but maybe not this time.)
She has never been in a situation where she hasnt wrung out every bit of drama possible.
Do I think shes faking any of these ailments?
But I could see how a vacation with such a person could be a little bit annoying.
Gizelle then demands that everyone has their room searched.
This is a bottle of tequila.
If they dont want to confess, there isnt much you’re able to do.
As Candiace predicted, Porsha starts with I dont have to explain my Instagram to you.
Ugh, the coyness is annoying.
If Porsha didnt tag them for a reason, say it.
Just be mean to these peoples faces dont hide behind this silliness.
Eventually, she does, so credit to Porsha.
However, the fight takes a turn when Candiace accuses her of cyberbullying.
Do I think what Porsha did was cyberbullying?
Its undoubtedly a pile-on, and its certainly mean-girl behavior.
I take Candiaces point.
They all sat around and talked about how social media was the hardest part of being a Housewife.
That is a sign to her stans that Porsha hates those two.
Porsha starts taunting her.
she yells at her.
She likens her to her small daughter, saying she needs Pedialyte.
She is used to people she can converse with not Candiace, who yells over everyone.
Um, I have seenPorshas show; all they do is yell over one another.
Porsha asks Candiace why every time they talk, they go from one to 1,000.
Shes trying to wind Candiace up so much so that Candy looks like the villain andshecomes off looking good.
When they return to the house, Gizelle wants everyones rooms searched.
Well, not everyone just Candiace.
Shes getting Pepsi involved.
She goes to Candiaces room herself and tears through her drawers until she finds her bottle of tequila.
I have always loved Gizelle, but this is just gross.
How is she so sure Candiace stole it?
She has no evidence, or at least she hasnt presented any.
If she has a case, it is as flimsy as Leahs skirt with all the holes cut out.
Gizelle is pressing the producers to rifle through Candiaces suitcase.
She doesnt want someone just scanning the room; she says she wants someone invested.
Sorry but just like everyone with a Coinbase wallet, she is overinvested in this space.
But this time, Im with Candiace.
If I say I dont have your bottle, then I dont have it.
Why would I take it, and why would I lie?
I dont like them having rude conversations, he whispers to the camera as if hes talking to himself.
