The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
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If I dont feel it, Im not showing up.
And now, Marys wise words will always come to my mind when debating an RSVP.
But before that, we catch up on the state of her and Justins union.
This exchange feels like a highly calculated game of 3-D chess.
Was this scheduling snafu just a long con to make Justin promise to carry his weight?
We may never know, but if it was, Whitney is a mastermind.
I think the same thing might have happened between Monica and Jen Shah.
And in true Jen fashion, Monica is now buddying up to Heather, who takes her snowmobiling.
But since they all have daughters of their own, Monica says they have to break that generational pattern.
It was the same thing with Jen, with Lisa, with Mary, and now its Angie.
But Meredith doesnt want to talk about that.
So onward to the long-awaited sitdown between Mary and Whitney!
Especially considering they couldnt even convince her to go to a park for Merediths trust-building exercises.
Did production promise her use of the sprinter van as her own personal valet?
A vat of 2003 Dom Perignon?
Maybe she was just there for the free meal.
Instead, she simply wishes it had been spilled on Whitney instead.
With that out of the way, Whitneys ready for her apology.
What follows is what must be the longest storming out in Bravo history.
The party kicks off with Lisa playing her favorite game: Who Knew About Jacks Mission Before I Did?
And naturally, when she asks the room of blonde teens, practically the entire party raises their hands.
Monica goes to get dinner with her mother, who immediately starts crying as an unbothered Monica sits down.
Excuse me, can I get a straw?
she asks the waiter as her mother weeps, with impeccable comedic timing.
In fact, this entire conversation is a comedic masterclass, whether our two performers know it or not.
The mom died, and they hadnt resolved their issues.
I dont want that to happen with us.
Either way, Linda should make a Letterboxd.
Just then, their waiter appears to take their order and thus diffuse the situation.
But not for long!
Soon enough, Linda is screaming again.
Did you just call me a fucker?
Monica asks, to which her mom clarifies, Motherfucker.
I called you a motherfucker.
Linda then helps herself to Monicas guacamole, which she calls a pretty dessert.
But Monica already knows what the root of the issue is: being abandoned as a child.
Linda then calls her Monica Darnell, which annoys Monica because thats not her name anymore.
Thats the name I gave you, she says.
Im sorry, I dont know what the fuck your name is; you change it every fucking week.
That should be the next movie Linda watches.
Once again, its just incredible (albeit unintentional) comic timing.
And just like that, Linda has masterfully secured a continuation of her multi-episode arc.
