The Real Housewives of Orange County
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I would give this season, compared to all otherHousewivesseasons, three stars out of five.
Yes, it was good, but in the pantheon of everything, it was just average.
And we need to give the editors a special shout-out for a whole new technique they developed.
Im calling it theBrady Bunchmontage after the classic sitcomsiconic opening theme.
And the editors get an extra-, extra-, extra-special kiss on the mouth for introducing the Heather montage.
The episode wasnt about that, however.
It was about Gina throwing a Lion Tamers and Lionsthemed BDSM party.
(BDSM does not stand for Big Dick Slaps Monkey, as Emily claims.
Everyone knows it stands for Brian Doesnt Suck Moylan.
The last OG standing?
Will they attempt to decapitate each other because there can only be one Toyota Highlander?
Its like a game of idiot telephone.
Heres how it boils down.
After Heather plays the tape, she points to it with her hand and makes a See?
face to Gina, expecting her to get all mad at Tamra.
Gina is just like, Annnnnddddddd?????????
This is not the gotcha that Heather thinks it is.
Why didnt her friend Heather let her know beforehand?
Since this is the finale, we needed to get some story lines closed.
Moon, who is good enough for energy massage but apparently not good enough to deal with bruised elbows.
Before we even get to the party, the Heather-and-Tamra showdown is already set up.
In confessional, Heather goes through all the ways that Tamra has destroyed her relationships with the other women.
She mentions Tamra joking about her IMDb, which ruined her relationship with Taylor.
She mentions Tamra saying she called Gina and Emily losers, ruining that triad.
Shes not wrong about that, but these are all unforced errors.
Heatherwastalking about Shannons relationship (but no more than anyone else).
Im not on either side here.
I think that Tamra and Heather are playing different versions of the same game.
Its pretty diabolical and meant to keep them on the show for another season.
If I looked like him, none of my costumes would have shirts.
Shit, none of my everyday attire would have shirts.
This is the worst kind of costume.
That is the dedication we need.
Meanwhile, Tamra is going counterclockwise in the same circle, talking shit to all the women about Heather.
Thanks for bringing this up, because whatever happened to Emilys Party City franchise?
I havent seen a clown get this angry sinceJames Corden misordered an omelet.
But Heather doesnt take the bait.
She doesnt sink to Tamras level.
For the first time all season, Heather wins by deciding she wont play the game.
