The Real Housewives of Orange County
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I think that Heather is a great mom and an excellent Housewife.
I also think shes fuller of shit than the porta-potties at a burrito festival.
I always feel two ways about Heather.
Heather must have used 14 different sheets of tissue on this one sweater.
There was one inside.
There was one when she folded the arms in.
There was another when she folded it in half.
There was another after that.
No wonder Housewives bring so much luggage on a trip; half of it is just tissue paper.
On the topic of terrible things, lets shift our focus to Alexis Jesus Juggs Bellino.
This is what really galled me, though.
In confessional, Alexis wearing a dress experiencing an identity crisis says, Are we in high school?
Find a different thing to focus on, Shannon.
Back it up sister.
Every bottle comes with two free ice cubes to represent the embryos that she and Terry still have frozen.
Emily tells her to write a check and be done with it.
Gina says she agrees but acknowledges that it is a mighty big check for peace of mind.
Heres the thing I dont understand about John Janssen.
Shannon says that he just wants to seem like a good guy.
John says absolutely nothing because hes too chicken shit to go on camera and talk about it.
But whats the worst Shannon has said about him?
That she paid for everything?
That she has normal fights with him that take her days to recover from?
Shes never accused him of cheating, abuse, mistreatment, or any other malfeasance.
But hes not and this is making him lookworse.
Now, we think of him as an emotional terrorist and an actual extortionist.
Shannon immediately asks What video thing?
157 times in a row until someone answers her.
Shannon goes outside and talks to her lawyer.
She comes back in and says, I just told my lawyer to pay him whatever he wants.
If this isnt literally extortion it is getting the exact result of one.
That is Shannon paying up because shes afraid of what is in the videos.
Since the suit is still ongoing, we know that it didnt happen, but his feint worked.
She has arrived at Heathers door with a story and a mission.
John never came to help her or poor terrified Archie Beador who was in the backseat.
She took a picture of herself and sent it to John around midnight, but he didnt respond.
I dont entirely understand the implications of this story.
Is Shannon trying to say that John knew she was injured and didnt do anything about it?
Is that what shes saying?
Its Shannon looking normal, with her hair done and her one earring looking wonderful.
But the other half of her face is covered in blood.
One of her eyes looks like it had been ruptured.
She looks like a ghoul.
Its hovering, wondering where she can go next, wondering how shes going to get out of this.
