The Real Housewives of Orange County
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What are we even fighting about anymore?
We are fighting about vibez.
Terry says, $55 million is not fuck you money; its fuck everyone you ever knew money.
$155 million, thats fuck you money.
$550 million, thats fuck everyone you ever knew money.
Thats Sorry, excuse me, you dropped something money.
Okay, point taken, Shannon.
It is not any of their business, but you know whose business it is?
It is our business.
Also, these problems are pretty boring.
If she talked about their real challenges on camera, they might not use them.
But know what they will use?
Shannon freaking out and storming off every time someone tries to get her to talk about her personal life.
I also take issue with this idea of The Vault, or at least how Shannon uses it.
Contrary to what I just said, I think that Housewives deserve some privacy.
Now, objectively, Ryan is very hot.
Very, very, very hot.
Okay, he may not see a problem, but if Jenn does, there is a problem.
The best indication of future performance is past behavior.
When they meet, Heather asks what is in the espresso martini.
The waiter says vodka, simple syrup, and Kahlua.
Heather says she wants that, but with no Kahlua.
Okay, so Heather just wants … vodka and sugar?
Thats nothing like an espresso martini.
Heather and Shannon seem to make up at this lunch, but who really knows?
She gets them to cut out the butthole of the pumpkin because it somehow keeps it fresh.
What is that supposed to be?
Why even have an expert at this point?
I could have told them how to make completely ugly pumpkins for free.
There was a third.
Also that Shannon said that Ginas boyfriend, Travis has a small dick.
This just underlines my problems with Shannon.
The person who Shannon is and the person who Shannon thinks she is are diametrically opposed.
But here we have it.
Finally, I guess we need to talk about Heather and Terrys love-in pictures when they were at Disneyland.
Okay, these are totally fake.
Do I think that Terry is cheating on Heather?
I sure as shit do.
When Tamra talks to Heather about it, she says the pictures are suspicious.
Heather takes this to mean that Tamra believes there is some credence to the cheating rumors.
No, she means thepicturesare suspicious.
you’re able to believe that Heather staged thisandthat there is no affair.
Heather does not interpret it this way.
Where theres smoke, theres fire, Heather says.
But there is also arson.
Okay, thats a great line, but it still doesnt address why she is protesting so much.
Is it because she hates these women?
Is it because Shannon is accusing her of something she didnt commit?
No, I dont think so.
I think its about the Vibez.
