The Real Housewives of New Jersey
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
Is that too much to ask?
Well, then can I get Joe in a Speedo bringing me lemon Spindrift and Entenmanns?
Ill be over in five.
Danielle and Rachel decide to go shopping for outfits for the party.
I really want these two to be the Emily and Gina ofRHONJ.
Sadly, I do not think this is going to happen.
I was like, This is where Teresa is getting her wedding ring, right?
They really must have paid her a lot of money to shop there.
Jen decides its because Marge has dirt on Melissa and Joe, and thats why theyre nice.
Second, this is not why they hang out with Marge and not with you.
The reason they like Marge and not you two isnt because of gossip, its because you suck.
Finally, we get down the shore and Jen is no longer renting.
Maybe she was just afraid of Franks weird-ass shore house that is taller than it is wide.
Maybe she is afraid it could just blow over at any minute like an aluminum-sided Jenga.
Rachel is also putting up Jen Fessler and her husband, Jeff.
Wait, if we call her Jenf, does that mean we need to call him Jefff?
She also says that Gia asked to use the house and Melissa said no.
Okay, Im going to need more details here.
How about another weekend this summer?
Or did Gia ask, and Melissa just went, Ew.
No, because she hates Gia, because thats how Teresa made it sound.
It was like Teresa didnt want to waste an invite; she wanted Marge Sr. there as a plus-one.
Teresa says that there is some history that we need to know about.
Thats why Teresa didnt invite them, because shes hanging onto a decade-old grudge.
Im sorry, I give this point to Teresa.
Dont ever make me say that again.
But just you wait, because Im about to defend her again.
All right, this is throwing Teresa right under whatever sort of transportation they use at the Jersey shore.
I dont know, like a dune buggy with a salami tied on the back.
That is not being part of the team.
If that was my husband, hed get a big, fat yelling-at when we got home.
The party does seem like a good time.
I mean, theres a meat tower.
Know whats not fun, though?
Parenting at the Aydin house.
Bill tells Jen if her kids get average grades theyre going to have average lives.
First of all, Bill is probably right.
Most of us are.
Thats why its the average.
And theres nothing wrong with that.
It works out for everyone.
There are only two little skirmishes at the party.
The first is Marge confronting Teresa about Teresa telling Rachel that shes a better friend than an enemy.
Well, if Teresa didnt deliver the shit, there would be no shit to start.
Is that how shitting works?
I have no idea.
Im always missing the bowl anyway.
The other weird tension is between Danielle and the rest of the women.
), everyone is talking about why she doesnt talk to her brother.
At least this time it wasnt someone in her immediate family.
