The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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This is the seasons best episode yet.
The next scenes, though, are a bit of a surprise.
Its givingDonald Trump fixing the hurricane trajectory.
(When was that scene with her daughter?
The Fudas had a busy day.)
Rachel tells Melissa that Teresa had a present for them but they left it on the bar.
Melissa says shes glad the Fudas didnt bring it because it was probably bugged.
No one wants to touch it.
Joe says that their father would be ashamed of how Teresa was treating them.
Theres a card with the bottle as well, but Joe throws it in the firepit in the backyard.
We wanted to know what was in the card.
We wanted to know what Teresa said so that we could pick it apart and make fun of it.
Now well never know.
This way they can say, Well, we sent a gift to his housewarming and they rejected it!
As Melissa says, why are they sending gifts when they dont even speak?
Her attendance is as disingenuine (as Teresa would say) as that bottle.
She has no intention of making amends and is ripping this party before she even gets there.
Jen says that if she agreed with how Danielle had behaved, she would have defended her against Lina.
I can see that, but if thats the case, why invite her over to tell this story?
Instead, Jen just lets Lina tell this story with no one to challenge it.
Danielle says she had security clear it because it was becoming a safety issue.
What is even going on with this show anymore?
Its like fuckingGame of Throneswith all of these tertiary characters with overcomplicated wigs that I cant keep track of.
How is their story tied to the main plot of the show?
Whose side are they working on?
Which house are they from?
Did she ask for this before?
Were their other brands on the step-and-repeat?
The biggest fight of the night is between Evan Goldschneiders arms and the straining fabric of his dress shirt.
The biggest fight is actually between Jackie and Marge, but its really between Jackie and sanity.
Melissa says that information is in Jackies book and they talked about it on Melissas podcast.
Jackie says she was mad because the book wasnt out yet.
Make it make sense!
Then Jackie says, Youre mad that Im friends with Teresa, and too bad.
This is a big fucking waste of my time and Im walking away from you.
Marge tells Dolo she had to talk Jackie down from that ledge.
Joe Benigno then gives Dolores a sign from across the room to check her phone.
When she does, she sees the text from Jackie calling Dolores a fucking slob for not tagging her.
Instead, she went withslob,and now shes caught red-handed and trying to walk it back.
Jackie says that Marge says even worse things about her, but doesnt put it in writing.
Then shes smart, Dolores says.
Unlike the others, Dolores is wise.
She knows the ways of the world.
Shes been friends with Teresa long enough to not get mired in her idiotic schemes.
Write it, regret it.
