The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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This is the weirdest season ofRHONJto date.
Yet we still watch.
To see how they get there, of course, but also, were not getting the whole story.
Were not seeing all these mysteries, so we cant really form an accurate judgment of them.
What are these mysteries exactly?
Now there is Pizzagate 2: The Way of Water, and we learn even less.
Did that have anything to do with pizza ovens?
Dolores says, I wont talk about Dina ever.
Okay, what happened between these two ex-friends?
Why are we only getting insinuations about what is happening instead of what is actually happening?
What do we have to watch instead?
The longest, fakest, most drawn-out visit with a coffee psychic that I have ever seen.
Im sure that coffee grounds can offer all sorts of insight, but you know what else can?
A fight between Danielle and Rachel that no one cares about?
(No, not sack up.
I hate that.)
I do not care.
I do not care about any of this.
I want to hear more about Pizzagate.
I want an in-depth explanation of why Dolores and Dina hate each other.
Sorry, Dolores, but I would have helped him cheat on you in a New Jersey minute.
(That is actually three minutes because of the traffic.)
But do you know something I really want to know more about?
John Fuda raising his son Jaiden alone since he was 18.
How did this mountain of gabagool raise what seems to be a reasonably well-adjusted kid without any help?
Can we get an AMC limited series about this?
They have a parking business, a concierge business, a tile business, and a burger shop.
Oh, so they have a whole bunch of cash-only businesses.
No red flags here.
But as shady as that sounds, at least he can name his businesses.
I have to say, Im really enjoying these big old casts with lots of friends.
Maybe that is the secret.
We just need all their worlds to get bigger.
(What does Paulie do?
Wouldnt understand even if you explained it.)
This place is such a man cave, though.
Its all chrome and dark wood and glass walls.
Guitars are hanging on the walls.
No woman has ever done this.
How Marge told on Jen last year?
How Rachel told Marge what Danielle said?
That Teresa asked Jen to be a bridesmaid but not Melissa?
I wouldnt know what is going on.
The show wont tell us anything we want to know.
