The Real Housewives of Miami
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At this exact moment in time,Miamiis where its at.
Its the best show in the franchise, and it delivered an almost perfect finale.
Remember when Larsa and Lisa were fighting about Lisa insulting Larsasapartment building?
Remember Alexia freaking out because she thought Julia was trying to put a hex on her?
But notMiami our girls came to play.
), and I dont like it one bit.
Lisa should not attempt to get Marina to choose between her and her son.
Yes, Lenny is a piece of shit.
I mean, this guy told his mom that he has wholesome DMs with women on Instagram.
That was followed up by some fascinating scenes of the women alone.
Adriana goes to meet Gloria Estefans husband, and I believe his name is Miami Sound Machine.
Adriana met Mr. Sound Machine, and he said he would produce a song for her.
Its called Im Not Cheap.
Hmmm.Where have we heard that before?
And how did that work out?
She looks like the Chiquita Banana lady, if she were dressed up as a cheap wedding centerpiece.
(As long as she doesnt buy a Nest thermostat.
But next season, can they have a thruple withCaptain Sandy?
We need all of Bravos power lesbians in one place.
I could write a whole psychology doctorate on this meeting.
Mike thinks he is perfect, and if other people dont like it, then they can fuck off.
Um, well, yeah, you couldnt.
Maybe his stepping out of the way was a good thing.
I mean, this all sounds bad.
This sounds like the start of a documentary about how NFTs ruin lives.
He better hope his parole officer doesnt have a Peacock login!
But these two jamokes talking together?
Nope, not the show I signed up for.
A much better scene is Alexia in the kitchen teaching Frankie how to cook Cuban food.
Finally, she isnt infantilizing her son and is showing him real-life survival skills.
The big final event is a Melting Pot party that Guerdy throws.
This is sort of a silly theme that makes no sense.
I have to say, though, Guerdy can throw a motherfucking party.
This shit was like a Stefon sketch fromSNL.
The hottest club in Miami is FWOOSH!
Located in a lighting warehouse in the Arts District, FWOOSH!
If I am ever in Miami, I am getting Guerdy to throw me a party.
I am also inviting Manu, her long-suffering assistant.
Canonize this man: Saint Manu, the patron saint of personal assistants.
Even as shes apologizing to Alexia and Marysol, she cant accept culpability.
Wait, you’ve got the option to plead insanity to your friend group now?
This is going to go over well at my Fire Island reunion with my friends this summer.
I must have been OuT oF mY mInD.
Its no better when she apologizes to Marysol.
Marysol seems to forgive Adriana, mostly, but Alexia sure hasnt.
No, not a bombshell just a bomb.
Lisa ends all the squabbling around the table by getting up and insisting she make a toast.
Isnt that the plot of every Nancy Meyers movie?
Okay, maybe not.
As a final treat, we see Lisa filming her confessional when her phone pings.
Lisa gets Lenny on the phone and immediately starts cussing him out.
She didnt want to have that party, and he forced her to.
It goes on and on and on, and finally he just says, Leave me alone.
Yeah, good luck with that, asshole.
We can zoom out of the whole place, out of the city, out of the whole world.
