The Real Housewives of Miami
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I dont even know if I can tell you what the fight was about its so dumb.
I will attempt, however.
Even the women are like, We have no idea what is happening.
Shes also mad at Guerdys face.
But I love this for her.
I love this forus.
Its like they invented someone to just make GIFs for us for every occasion.
NeNe Leakes can finally take a day off.
(When reached for comment, NeNe Leaks said, Now why am I in it?)
Like a barrage of GIFs this fight had everything.
What a delightful throwback that mess of a music video was though.
The problem with Adrianas video is thateveryoneshowed up but no one bothered to learn the choreography.
That includes Julia, Adrianas ride-or-die as they would call her onRHOSLC.
When your bestie cant even commit an eight-count to memory, you know your shit is busted.
But all of the ladies showed up as they are, despite the all-black dress code.
Marysol came dressed as the Skipper fromGilligans Islandwith a bag full of alcohol.
When Jonathan finally gets them to do their little dance, none of them know any of the moves.
Im going to go get a bottle, Marysol says after pinching one of the gay dancers exposed asses.
Jonathan yells frantically as hes totally ignored.
This shoot was so dumb, so disorganized, so low-stakes that I could just sit and enjoy it.
This isHousewivesat its finest.
These girls dont want to do anything!
Jonathan yells to no one in particular like hes in a bad sitcom.
Um, have you ever watched aHousewivesprogram before?
You cant even get half of these women to regularly wear underwear.
You expect them to know how to do a step-touch on the back of a borrowed yacht?
She brings this up to Julia and shes like, No.
Then Larsa says it was at the Surf Club.
I wasnt even there.
Larsa says the friend took a picture and it was some designer guy.
Oh, thats our best friend, she says.
Yeah, we totally made out, but it doesnt count.
I love how Julia had to ease into this confession like she is wading into a freezing pool.
Julia tells the women that if you make out in public with a friend its just a silly gag.
It doesnt even count.
If she was making out behind closed doors, then its a totally different thing.
Nicole says that they could never date, because she thinks that public make outs mean something.
I see both points.
Ive definitely made out with friends at a dance club before and it was just being silly.
(That friend was not named Molly, but she might have been involved.)
The way Julia dealt with it though was expert.
She was basically like, Yeah, I did.
But Larsa, a bird with worm, still wants to make it into a thing.
After the All-New Stupidest Fight Ever, Larsa brings it up again.
However, what annoys me about Larsa is that she wont respect Julias explanation of it.
She initially said they were just having fun.
Larsa says, There were no paparazzi there.
But Julia never mentioned paparazzi.
She mentioned people wanting to take their picture which, well, her friend did.
This all makes total sense to me, even if Larsa doesnt want to believe it.
She then accuses Larsa of attacking Julia.
I wouldnt say it was an attack, but it was a coordinated offense, but sure.
Ill give this to Alexia.
Then she and Kiki start yelling somehow.
The second is whether or not this is product placement.
You know Andy Cohen is seeing at least a little bit of this dosh.
Clone this man immediately.
Every household needs a Russell.
How much is a Russel clone?
This is not a nice thing to do to a friend of who gets paid per day of filming.
Its one thing to kick Alexia out, but dont come for Kikis check.
I can barely keep track of myself andLane Roders(a.k.a.
Blake Mitchell), you expect me to know where all the gays are at all times?
I buy that way more than her actual explanation.
OMG, they dressed Elvis as a lesbian.
Give this goat its own show or at least its own TikTok.
I would follow a he/him lesbian goat to Catholic hell and back.
The fight was, once again, about Julia making out with this dude.
Thats all we needed.
Just enough light drama for one episode.
Nicole convinces Julia to get into the water to surprise her and make out and have a nice moment.
For a moment, everything is perfect.
There are no empty nest issues.
There are no infidelities with some dude.
There are no peeing goats, broken legged dogs, chickens that need a bigger house.
There is no yacht party ruined by Burger King.
There is no divorce, there is no fighting, there is no (ugh)cancer.
There is just love.
Two women, spouses, in the warm Atlantic celebrating their home and their love.
