The Real Housewives of Miami
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The best thing aboutThe Real Housewives of Miamiis that they love an unserious fight.
These ladies are up here in these streets (in a Sprinter van) fighting about farts.
And corn farts at that!
Whats even crazier than that, however, is how ungenerous some of these women read their fellow Housewives.
Well, its me as a blond who can sing.
I hate this guy,andI want to be him.
Julia is sounding a bit better, though.
I hope she pulls it through and doesnt entirely embarrass herself at the party.
You know this was already discussed and decided upon.
Why are we leaving it an open question?
Meanwhile, in Adrianas old house, Lisa is bringing her kids over to visit her boyfriend, Jody.
However, they dont know hes her boyfriend; shes just told them hes their Uncle Joe.
You know thats not working.
Just wait until Lisa has to break the news to them.
No, kids, hes not gay.
Also, I love the shady boots editors for titling him Guncle Joe, Lisas Gay Friend?
Nine minutes after they pulled out of the meeting place, they had to stop for a bathroom break.
Okay, its not weird for girlfriends to go tinkle in front of each other, right?
But know what is weird?
Im sorry, but you should never number two in front of a partner.
Thats not just science; its the actual law.
Its the 36th Amendment to the Constitution.
This is a normal and rational conversation, and I dont blame them for having it.
Adriana, very ungenerously, sees it another way.
Adriana says they are spewing their poisonous venom like vipers.
Girl, they arent even mad at you, theyre mad at farts.
How is Adriana turning this into them being haters.
Theyre not haters; theyre just lovers of their own nostrils.
Then Alexia says that the reason Todd left theNuevos Horizontesparty is because he didnt want to see Adriana.
She says she even apologized for what she said about Frankie last season.
The thing about Adriana is you dont need to reach to turn her into a villain.
Alexia just needs to wait for her to shoot herself in the foot once again.
Again, this is an ungenerous read.
But also, she is definitely lording his money over the other women, but this isReal Housewives.
If theyre not lording their possessions over someone, do they even have those possessions in the first place?
Nicole says she has no idea why theyre fighting, and we dont either, to be honest.
None of them cares about the farts or anything.
They just fucking hate each other.
When they get to the game, Im confused about the whole thing.
How are they raising money, and where did Larsa get the $40,000 figure they raised?
Was it selling tickets?
And why were there two teams?
And who were all of these other people on the teams?
Some didnt even sign releases, so what is up with that?
Is this some kind of general charity basketball game thatRHOMjust invaded so that they could have an episode?
There is so little explanation, and I want to know everything.
Back in the locker room, Todd has a cake and a gift for Alexia to celebrate her birthday.
She puts the $48,000 watch on her wrist and asks what time it is.
Time to go home, Adriana says.
I couldnt have wished for a better ending to one of the most unserious days weve ever witnessed.
