The Real Housewives of Miami
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That sums it up.
But somehow, it gets even worse.
As the women all shout at Adriana, Julia pipes up to defend her.
What is she trying to do?
Use her evil magic powers to turn Marysol into a glass of lemonade?
Whats worse is that, while the rest of the women walk away, Adriana is doubling down.
She wants people to feel sorry for her because she cant wheel her wheelchair on her own.
Also, Adriana keeps saying, Icouldhave lost my foot.
She tells Adriana, Whatcouldhave happened to you and whatdidhappen to Alexia are not equal.
That right there is a good friend.
You know who else is a good friend?
Ms. USSR 1990 Julia Lemigova, thats who.
You were comparing your injury with what happened to her, Julia tells her.
Do not make it about anything else.
Yes, you’ve got the option to be ride or die andstilltell your friend she is wrong.
Marysol should take notes if shes sober enough to remember how a pencil works.
You look like shit.
Try my skin-care line.
And while you wait for the mask to settle, read my book.
When youre done, here, try on my jewelry.
You dont want to be married to that man!
Lisa seems like she needed all these reminders from Lea.
What is going on with Housewives being smart and mature all of a sudden?
This is great for their lives, but really bad for our shows.
Luckily, back in the Bahamas, dinner is going just as you think it might.
I hate when a show comes down to explicit sides like this.
Julia and Adriana are at one table celebrating Julias 50th birthday.
Alexia, Marysol, Larsa, and Kiki are at another table celebrating Kikis birthday.
Guerdy and Dr. Nicole are playing the part of Lisa and Lennys kids.
You know, going back and forth between people that hate each other and not being happy at all.
They could be fucking every night.
Martina could be as insatiable in bed as she is on the court.
Guerdy goes to the mean girls and asks if Adriana can come over and say something.
They all immediately shoot her down.
Larsa says, You cant say a mean thing and just be like, Oh, Im sorry.
Isnt that what Alexia did when she made up all that ish about Adrianas boyfriend being married?
Oh, no, she didnt, because Alexia still hasnt apologized for that and never will.
Back in Miami, Adriana is hosting a big party for her music-video release.
Julia is there with some braids in her hair like she got lost on her way to Burning Man.
Guerdy and Dr. Nicole are there.
They also want a second date withNavid, the caviar king and all-around dream boat.
Poor Adriana could have used the support.
What even is this video?
She did look good, though.
Just not good enough to bark up the wrong tree.
While I feel bad for Adriana, the last scene of the episode really makes me uncomfortable.
Lisa takes the kids to some arts-and-crafts place and meets her mother-in-law, Marina, there.
Also, youre never going to convince a mother that her son is wrong.
Even if she brings the kids to see their grandmother, keep it light and simple.
Dont get into the divorce.
