The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
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Nothing good comes in the mail; get the Lady to throw it out!
Most of this supersize episode is red-carpet arrivals to Kyles house.
Then Kyle tells Faye and Justin that both Camille Donatacci Grammer Meyer and Denise Richards will be in attendance.
The three of them then do their best Allison DuBois impersonation, and I love when Housewives gets self-referential.
Denise is, and I believe this is the scientific term here, schwasted.
This is a M-er F-er guest list if there ever was one.
Blasts from the past, present, future, and Lake Bailey.
This positioning is known as a Frontal Tramp Stamp.
Kyle then answers the mystery of why Morgan got Kyles first initial tattooed on her arm.
Its because she wanted Kyle to tattoo her, and the letter was the only thing she could draw.
This seemsslightlyless incriminating now that we know the origin story.
Kyle is in L-O-V-E.
But the fight is not about Kyle and Morgan, at least on the surface.
Its about Kyle and Sutton, so how did we get there?
Then Kyle keeps saying something is off with Sutton.
Something is off with Sutton.
Finally, Dorit chimes in with, Well, we know Sutton is a drinker.
Across town, Garcelle and Sutton are having dinner, and Sutton orders asparagus wrapped in bacon.
Shes a vegetarian who eats bacon!
Diana Jenkins pops out of a bush to shout at us.
Sutton then says she was upset that Kyle defended Erika.
Of course she did.
Sutton was shouting, Defend your friend, at her ad nauseam.
Garcelle says, in confessional, I never pay attention to that.
Damn, Dorit is out here catching strays!
We get a bunch of articles on the screen, including some Reddit posts.
Wait, are we citing Reddit as reliable news now?
Getting Deux Moi to testify before Congress?
Everyone opts for none or five milligrams.
How will they feel anything?
(I took a poll, and London decided we dont want her.)
This seems like a very ungenerous read of the situation.
Alright, this is Kim Richardss sister here having a conversation shes had a million times before.
Crystal comes into the room to get them back to the table so everyone can eat.
(Thank you, Crystal, for contributing something!)
Kyle and Sutton are playing reputational chicken.
Kyle wants to say that Sutton is a drunk but wont come out and say it.
This is peakRHOBH; people want to talk trash but do not want to look bad.
This is alsoRHOBHwithout Lisa Rinna.
Kyle says that she doesnt want her friend making veiled threats at her.
Yes, I agree.
But I could say the same thing to Kyle.
Shes making just as many veiled threats.
Do you think Kenya Moore would be soft-shoeing around a subject like this?
Shed bring the Cookie Lady in to testify and follow it up with a marching band.
Hide under the table because this is getting real!
Sutton then asks Kyle if there is anything she would like to share about her personal life.
Your marriage, Garcelle clarifies.
Just like Dorit did for Kyle earlier, Garcelle is doing Suttons dirty work.
We read the press.
Is there any truth here?
As this conversation is happening, Kyle finally comes out with it.
So what youre saying is that my husband cheated on me?
Yes, that is what she is saying, and we want a confirmation or a denial.
But we also want Kyle to call Sutton a drunk.
