The Great British Baking Show
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Going into the final, Prue says that all the bakers are equal.
Why are you doing yourself dirty like that?
The Hollywood Handshake is not an official distinction; it is not a prize.
I know some people think thatBaking Showneeds a villain.
Theyre not wrong, but for me, that has always been Mr. Hollywood himself.
I think he has a shot.
(Too soon?)
His journey to the end starts where it always does, with the signature challenge.
This week everyone had a make eclairs.
I hate to say it, butGBBO/Srecappers would like to see that as well.
Matty tells us that his fiance Lara applied for him because he would never do it himself.
Hes so sweet and unassuming.
Thats pretty hilarious but also a little sad.
But what I really noticed about the package is we dont see the wife much.
Does that mean I still have a chance?
Im ready to be a stepdad, but only if you keep me sated with Victoria Sponges.
Paul says its a little too sweet, but they both love his coffee and chocolate eclair.
Mattys dont look nearly as nice, especially the cut-up cherries on his Black Forest Gateau-flavored eclairs.
They love his crisp-firm pastry shells and the cherry and chocolate concoction.
Paul says the banana is great, but hes not getting any caramel.
Both Noel and Alison could stand underneath it and not get wet during the summer storm that is a-brewing.
They think his pastry dough is soggy and that his fillings are grainy.
I dont know; it will be hard for Dan to return from this one.
First of all, its called a lardy cake, which is thebubble and squeakof the pudding world.
Secondly, its just lard, flour, sugar, and dried fruits.
That is like literally every English dessert.
The only thing that is missing is enough booze to knock Prue back into her statement necklace closet.
Josh is the only one who seems to master it and comes in first in the technical.
Dan, who overcooked his lands second, and Matty, who undercooked and underproved his winds up last.
That means that Matty is now the champ of the season without ever winning a technical challenge.
Also, he and Josh seemed pretty close with both signature and showstoppers.
This could have been the deciding factor, and it would have gone to Josh.
But it did not.
This proves to me what Ive thought all along: The technicals dont matter.
Except for our Tasha, who gives the crown to Matty.
She always knew what she was talking about.
As usual, Dan tries to do way too much, and many of the elements fail.
He has white chocolate (which is garbage) collars, and theyre not big enough and dont meet.
The judges loathe them, and Paul says he shouldnt have included them.
Also, the macarons are an unforced error.
At least his haircut was on point.
Joshs cake is an ode to his garden.
Did you see in the post-win catch-up with all the bakers that he grew a giant marrow?
Damn, Josh flubbed it in the final!
Mattys winning showstopper really is magnificent; it is more slanted than a Fox News broadcast.
The middle layer is a lemon and rosemary cake with summer fruit jam, which they also love.
Prue says its totally perfect except for the lean.
What struck me was the decoration.
The cake looked very Millennial Pink in a good way.
And if Daddy Dan needs any comforting whatsoever, my DMs are eternally open.
