The Great British Baking Show
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This week, Noel and Allison did a bit with just Paul.
Then we had the return of the Hollywood handshake this week.
Ugh, I hate it so much, and I havewritten about it at length.
(If you think about it, all men are an invasive species.)
The kind of bakers I worry about the most are ones like Dana, who made a Speculoos-flavored biscuit.
(Theyre basically like those Biscoff cookies you sometimes get on American Airlines.)
They have a fluted mold, and she says getting them out of there is hard.
Alright, we already know the result; at least a few will be totally cracked and terrible.
When we get to the end of the challenge, voila!
The same thing happens with Keith in the showstopper.
Then, he cooks it, and, voila, like magic, his prophecy comes true.
Keith, just find another way!
I know you could.
Why do bakers always rely on techniques they cant conquer?
Keith struggled in the signature, too, making PB&J marshmallow biscuits.
(Fun Fact: English people dont eat PB&Js.
For this, they call him Needy Ned.
I wish my neighbor would just come around with a zucchini loaf or something.
Either they really hate this guy, or his food is terrible.
Prue said they were delicious, though.
Dans peanut butter, chocolate, and banana wagon wheels looked amazing until he painted the wheel on top.
Wait, is Dan hot?
Yes, Dan is very hot.
Hes giving full-on smiling P.E.
teacher vibes, and it just makes me want to drop and give him 20.
Everyone else seemed to do well.
Its like a plain biscuit with vanilla filling.
The closest American equivalent is theVienna Finger.
He ended up in the middle of the pack, so there wasnt really any drama.
Couldnt they have fought?
Thats what the Real Housewives would have done.
Cant we get Lisa Vanderpump on this show?
At the bottom of the pack are messy Keith, Saku, and Cristy the Dough Thief.
This might not seem strange until you remember that this show is filmed from April to June.
That tells you a little about the (lack of) summer in England every year.
Anyway, the showstopper is to make a biscuit-based illusion of the bakers favorite meals.
Food that looks like other food?
What is this?Is It Cake?
Also, both Nicki and my lover Dan decide to make meat pies.
Im crazy like that.
Abbi decides to make a dim sum brunch and says that dim sum is her favorite thing to cook.
Why not go on theGreat British Chinese Food Making Show?
A number of bakers did really well at this challenge.
Mattys cheese looks so real, and the judges say it is also delicious even though its not cheese.
Tasha made a Japanese katsu, including a bowl and a cup to go with it.
They were just gaga over her flavors and design and coupled with a handshake, she took Star Baker.
He made his hamburger patties out of florentines, a sort of chocolate-covered cookie that is mainly dried fruit.
As they are examining Joshs impossible burger, the cruelest thing Ive ever seen onGBBO/Shappens.
Its a sick burn, at least for this show.
Naturally, Keith is sent home to do what he does best: annoy his neighbors with subpar bakes.
They are not surprised he left so soon; no one is.
Except maybe for Prue because its not like her input on the show even matters anymore.
