The Great British Baking Show
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It seems like Americans and the English share a culture just like they share a language.
After all, we watch their TV, and they watch ours.
Thats when you realize that, yes, there are plenty of English things Americans dont understand.
Its like how our Daddy Dan keeps saying tickety-boo in this episode.
Do you know what that means?
Cue the nut puns!
Cant you just make up that difference with some frosting?
He has to bake it all over again.
Christy cant get the chocolate leaves out of their mold because its too hot in the tent.
Remember last week when they were wearing several layers and carrying around space heaters?
Dan takes his second torte out of the oven and asks, Are you flat and balanced?
Oh, Dan, dont you know that cakes are like lovers?
Youre never going to find one that is both.
Im not sure why theres a skull next to it.
Maybe hes trying to scare us.
Paul says it has no taste at all.
Um, Mr. Hollywood.
We have seen you in countless Canadian tuxedos, and youll say Christys cake has no taste?
Also terrible is my girl Sakus take on aSachre-Torte, the famous Austrian cake.
Some of us just cant take a profile shot to save our lives.
The judges say his hazelnut and chocolate mousse cake is delicious, so the flavors save the day.
Shockingly, Nicky, who is usually a bottom-of-the-pack baker, ends up with the nicest cake.
For the technical, everyone has to bake individual caramelized white chocolate cheesecakes with black currant jelly on top.
There are two things we need to address here.
First up, white chocolate is garbage.
There, I said it.
It doesnt even have any chocolate in it, just cocoa butter, sugar, and milk.
Its cloying, too sweet, and doesnt have a depth of flavor.
Its like the decaf coffee of the chocolate world.
During this challenge, we also learn the difference between jam and jelly, at least for the British.
Jelly means it has gelatin in it, hence the name.
Yeah, I know you were thinking something different.
But she has to bow out of the challenge and doesnt show up for the next day of baking.
You know what that means?
Tale as old as time.
Beauty and the Beast.
I know just how we can celebrate.
I will complain a bit that chocolate work is not baking since no oven is involved.
However, this isnt a bad challenge for this back to basics season.
Saku is making a box and cake inspired by cricket because her daughter loves cricket.
Im sorry, but that is one English thing I will never learn about.
That and Centigrade can both fuck right off.
Everyone else makes sheets of tempered chocolate and then puts them together to make a box.
Im already sad for the poor, deformed horses.
I feel like this would have been a marvelous effect if he had practiced and had more time.
Instead, it looks like a lock box that got hit with an atomic bomb.
Nicky is also struggling for time because she cant seem to make caramel for her chocolates.
After Nicky crashes and burns, running out of time and caramel, Mattys the only star baker contender.
Sakus box looks lovely with its green color and bright flowers, but everything inside is a mess.
She got her millennial-pink, heart-shaped box straight out of the mold.
Her little pink box was the prettiest of the night.
(What, Paul, you have nut puns but no box puns?)
Her cake, unlike her box, is a little too dry.
But dont worry about either of them.
