The Golden Bachelorette
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We open on Joan gently selecting jewelry as Kacey Musgravess Rainbow plays.
Joan was married to her husband John for thirty-three years, until he passed away from pancreatic cancer.
and I dont know why the show would want us to do that.
Lets meet these men!
Joan is doing so in a very sparkly dress.
Ten out of ten for the sparkle level.
Okay, here we go!
Pascal adds something to the house, and I would like him to stick around for a few weeks.
We also meet people like Chock, an insurance executive from Wichita.
I have literally never seen them say no.
They just have to year of yes whatever happens.
Also Chock later talks about how he respects Joans family values, so now I side-eye him.
I dont TRUST you, Chock.
I will die for Charles.
Keiths chyron is Girl Dad.
The bars not high.
Then lastly, its Mark!
I know nothing else about him, because I do not remember Joeys season anymore.
Maybe leave the analogies to someone else, Mark.
The one-on-ones are fine.
She seems to like Dan from Naples, Florida.
Dan seems nice enough, but he looks like the senator who tries to ban mutants inX-Men.
Gary sets up two phones, and they talk to each other side by side.
Jacks tour of the mansion is my favorite part of the entire two hours.
I would love some kind of buddy comedy with Jack and Charles.
Joan grabs the first-impression rose and has to walk by every single man in the house for find Keith.
On night one, too!
What about Gerry, Joan!
Its almost dawn and were starting the rose ceremony.
Natascha said it onGolden Bachelor, but can we c’mon get chairs for these people?
Have they not labored enough during their past six decades on this earth?
Now they have to stand for hours in their fancy shoes?
Whatever, the show will not cave on this point.
I yelled (in a happy way).
), Guy tells Joan that hes fallen for her (!
), and I am very excited for this whole season.
And one person will be pushed into a chocolate river.
10 Points:To Charles K. for basically doing the Willy Wonka fake-out with the cane.
Gold Star:To Jack for his candle estimate.
Thumbs-Up:To the horse that ran away from David and the producers.
Pushed into a Chocolate River:Mark, for saying Joan is like a fresh pair of sweats.
Honestly, sir, what were you thinking?
