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Not ghosts, not demons, notTheNun II,in theaters now.
In the real world, Alfre Woodard can take care of herself.
It has the vibe of religious propaganda but the craven commercialism of Warner Bros.
The haunted doll Annabelle was introduced inThe Conjuring.The Nun fromThe Nunfirst appeared inThe Conjuring 2.
The franchise is absolutely crawling with demons and therefore crawling with opportunities to make a buck.
Take the Nun, for example.
TheDisciples of the Ramgroup is similarly baffling.
Is the demon in Annabelle the same Ram that the cult prays to?
Or is the Ram the literal Devil and every demon that comes through in theAnnabellemovies andThe Conjuring 3his henchmen/henchdolls?
But maybe these are the wrong questions.
Every object in their haunted museum is a potential spinoff.
And perhaps most important of all, hows their merch selling?
17.Ghost Priest (Annabelle Comes Home)
17.
Lets just say the optics arent great and leave it at that.
16.Bill Wilkins (The Conjuring 2)
16.
Bill Wilkins did nothing wrong!
(Spoilers for British kitchen-sink dramaThe Conjuring 2: Its Demons, Innit?)
Bill Wilkins was a pawn in Valaks scheme to possess Janet Hodgson.
But Valak wont let him.
15.Spooky TV (Annabelle Comes Home)
15.
Some of the objets dhaunt in the Warrens museum of the weird are tooTwilight Zoneto carry their own feature.
The Spooky TV is one.
What if a TV showed you 15 seconds into the future and then …?
Kinda stupid when you think about it for even one second, let alone 15.
14.Samurai (Annabelle Comes Home)
14.
But youcanwalk by it no problem.
If a ghost/demon can be vanquished by brusquely striding past, it aint shit.
Im not too scared of anything whose kryptonite is gays on an iced-coffee run.
13.Weird Goat-Guy (The Nun II)
13.
Christianity has associated the Devil with weird goat-guys since Rome converted.
Roman mythology had Pan, a big fat party animal and actually pretty fun goat-guy.
Early Christians said, Oh, that guy is the Devil.
Stop partying and start getting married!
And that has stuck pretty much ever since.
But the weird goat-guy inThe Nun IIjustplays second fiddle to the titular Nun.
To go from classical depiction of Satan (a.k.a.
1 demon) to a lackey for Valak (No.
62 demon inThe Lesser Key of Solomon), its a downgrade.
And his ranking on this list reflects that.
12.Murder Bride (Annabelle Comes Home)
12.
A demonic wedding dress is never going to reach the upper echelons of aConjuring-verse ranking.
Its too off message.
What do youmeana wedding can be bad?
All (straight) weddings are a blessing in Gods war against the Devil.
Shame on you, Murder Bride, for giving anyone pause about entering the holy state of matrimony.
11.Amityville Demon (The Conjuring 2)
11.
Its the only explanation for why such a buzzy haunting gets such short shrift inThe Conjuringverse.
10.Feeley Meeley(Annabelle Comes Home)
10.
This is areal board gamethat really existed in the 60s and 70s.
See also: that Cabbage Patch doll thatripped out kids hairand any doll that wets itself.
9.Essex Hellhound (Annabelle Comes Home)
9.
Filmic Body Count: 1 chicken
Sometimes the Essex Hellhound possesses a man.
And sometimes hes a real werewolf.
And other times hes just fog?
He doesnt even kill the whole coop.
Take some pride in your work, hellhound.
8.Random Dead Guy (The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It)
8.
This guy did nothing, but he was so gross while doing it.
Very wet, very squish.
7.Crooked Man (The Conjuring 2)
7.
However,CM stalledwhere the others flourished.
I think the Crooked Man lacks the rizz of his other, more explicitly demonic pals.
6.Human Witch + Demon Collab (The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It)
6.
However, his demonic power stops where blood thinners begin.
Sidebar: The Occultist sacrifices people to an unnamed demon.
However, she got her demonology training from the Disciples of the Ram, who work with Annabelle.
5.Ferryman (Annabelle Comes Home)
5.
The Ferryman is spooooky.
No character seems more well suited to a Halloween Horror Nights maze than this guy.
The Ferryman crams the Warren home with upright coffins filled with his former victims.
Silver dollars cover their eyes, payment for the Ferryman.
However, his complete lack of body count inAnnabelle Comes Homedoesnt speak well of him.
4.La Llorona (The Curse of La Llorona)
4.
Based on a Mexican folktale, La Llorona is also on-brand forThe Conjuringverse.
Shes the spirit of a woman who murdered her own children after her husband cheated.
It can happen to you!
3.Bathsheba (The Conjuring)
3.
How do you choose which one to sacrifice?
2.Annabelle (The Conjuring, Annabelle, Annabelle: Creation,andAnnabelle Comes Home)
2.
Filmic Body Count: 7
Now, this is a bitch who can move units of product.
As a haunted doll, Annabelle has all sorts of merchandizing opportunities that other demons just cant muster.
Cute + creepy = money-printing machine.
There are doll replicas, obviously.
But also shirts, wigs, makeup, tumblers, Tumblrs, and hair accessories.
As a demon, Annabelle was once vanquished by two teens and the kid they were babysitting.
As a brand, Annabelles infernal power knows no limits.
1.Valak (The Conjuring 2, The Nun,andThe Nun II)
1.
Valak also almost got the Warrens to retire by threatening Eds life.
Valak came for Gods favorite couple, and thats why he eventually lost.
