The Curse
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(I was surprised the paint dried so fast, Pascal gamely contributes.)
And HGTV has made it clear that the perils of gentrification isnt exactly on brand for the connection.
Which only leaves one potential source for conflict: Asher and Whitneys discomfiting marriage.
Comparatively, Dougies version ofFlipis metal.
Its like Dougie has unlocked the key to Whitney and her secret thoughts and ambitions.
And while theyre at it, Whitney suggests retitling the seriesGreen Queen.
A knight in shining armor?
The village idiot, Dougie suggests, to Whitneys delight.
The freshly anointed idiot, meanwhile, is growing stranger and more aloof.
Take a hint, dude.
(Spoiler alert: Now the electricity cuts out intermittently).
Hes lost his mind the chicken went missing from his carbonara one time!
Curses are probably not real, but bad luck is.
Whitney may be boring on-camera, but Asher is just straight-up boring.
He calls coffee java.
Theyre emitting the same exact bitchy energy as the girls who were popular in high school.
Dougie encourages Whit to flirt with the firefighters, then encourages the firefighters to flirt back.
Sadly, its game over for the Siegels, and heres the moment I became absolutely sure of it.
Im not gonna tell him.
it’s possible for you to tell me.
Im not going to tell him.
it’s possible for you to TELL ME.
IM NOT GONNA TELL HIM!
This relationship is dunzo.
Asher has basically been cuckolded.
Forget the little chicken curse, man.
She did not, she says.
He tests her abilities by having her guess the number of nails hes hidden under a bucket.
Nala knows when Asher has three nails in the bucket.
She knows when he has two nails in his hand.
So I guess shes a sorceress!
But Ive said it before and I stand by it: Whitney and Asher are the only real curse.
And when Abshirs clearly in distress, he tells the doctor Are chiropractors doctors?
and I quote, I think you should stop.
He pushes the father-of-twos head this way, then tugs it that way.
Eventually, he lies Abshir down, where the mans face twitches and then goes disturbingly still.
I watched this interminable scene through my fingers.
In truth, I barely watched this scene at all.
When the credits finally rolled, I did what I imagine we all did.
I picked up my phone and Googled chiropractic adjustment death real or fake.
