The Curse
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The genial substitute teacher at Capeside High who was cuckolded by his news-anchor wife?
Plus, why was that poor man stopping at the ice-cream parlor at Christmastime?
It was too cold out for ice cream.
And did his last words have to be Give me the beat, boys?
It was all so senseless.
In Down and Dirty, Asher and Dougie go on a mutually punishing little bro quest.
Probably this was the bunk anthem back in the summer of 03.
Probably this is because someone brought the2 Fast 2 Furioussoundtrack to camp with them.
In the end, though, they dont die.
They dont even crash the car.
What would Asher do if Whitney left him, Dougie asks, in a crazy hypothetical world?
Id have nothing, Asher says as cameras zoom in on his worrying hands.
Theres no way this is getting on HGTV.
This is just for sport.
This is just who Dougie is, who he has been since they were kids.
To me, this seems a bit far-fetched.
Dougie, though, cant help himself.
Its an occupational hazard.
Say it again in a sentence.
Say it this way.
Say it after me.Dougie proposes that Nalas new curse could act as a kind of test.
If Dougies chicken-dinner doggy bag goes missing, it cant be a coincidence.
But as he begs the little girl to say the three magic words, Dougie starts to break down.
Part of him wants to die.
The question isnt Why does Dougie drink and drive so recklessly?
its Why does he even bother with the Breathalyzer?
Dougie, of course, finds all this uproarious because hes still 12 years old.
Yet its Asher, with his massive shoulder chip and stormy temper, who lands the even worse blow.
Asher apologizes for the unkindness, but its too late.
Dougie says its cool but later whispers the series mantra: I curse you.Use his name.
In some other pocket of Espanola, Whitney too is cosplaying friendship.
She acts deranged, which is, of course, how she always acts.
Thats so beautiful, Whit tells him.
Thats so beautiful, Whit tells her.
But this is the trade-off, Cara explains.
Sometimes, you have to spend time with people you dont like so theyll buy the things you make.
I love collaborating with you.
We are best friends.Whitney gets the footage she wants.
She cajoles people into position, just as Dougie taught her.
Heres Whit having an intimate conversation with an artist she admires.
Heres Whit hugging a near stranger who also happens to be Native.
Heres Whit flirting with a white Sikh disciple ofYogi Bhajan.
Shes a natural producer; it truly doesnt make her uncomfortable to make other people uncomfortable.
Relationships are deteriorating across the series, but none more so than Whitney and Ashers marriage.
They share only one scene in this episode, but its a fucking doozy.
At this point, stealing designer denim from the Espanola shopping mall has become something of a teenage pastime.
Older kids pass the knowledge down to younger kids.
In the opening scene of Down and Dirty, one pack of affluent delinquents cops a dozen pairs.
Whitneys jeans bill has soared past $14,000.
The shopgirl doesnt care much, but Fernando does.
Obviously, Fernandos is an unhinged approach to negotiating with your boss.
I was ready to take a bullet for you, he tells Whitney when Fernando leaves the house.
Whitney laughs in his face and tells him to start charging rent to the boutiques in the strip mall.
And they promised Fernando a job.
Fernandos mom is dying.
Dougie pumped the old womans face with menthol.
Finally, Whit drops her mask.
She mocks her husband, bug-eyed and singsongy.
Its not remotely funny, but of course thats not her goal.
The goal is to obliterate her husband.
She makes fun of him for thinking hes a nice man.
She makes fun of him for thinking hes a tough guy.
