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Being a fan ofThe Real Housewivesteaches an intimate understanding of the adage be careful what you wish for.
To be fair, this isnt Alexiss first time as the butt of the joke.
She explained that Costa Rica is in Mexico, so its south.
She also parted ways with Jim, who often appeared to be the person holding her back.
Those calls for a comeback escalated last fall, as Alexis made a celebratedappearance at BravoCon.
(The timeline is a bit fuzzy, but recent refers to a matter of weeks.)
Her sole mission is to defend John Janssen and, naturally, to destroy Shannon in the process.
There was a world in which this might have worked out for her.
(Archiewas in the car at the time.)
But Shannon has somehow emerged victorious,the picture of (mostly) sober regret.
Thats a problem for Alexis, who has at this point defined herself entirely in opposition to Shannon.
Times have changed, Tamra says in a confessional.
I feel like the Alexis I knew ten years ago is not the Alexis I know today.
But even with the bar lowered, Fun Lexi is still flopping hard.
Alexis clearly feels the need to come in and defend her man, Emily says in a confessional.
Her man that shes been dating for, what, a month now?
Six episodes into the season, Alexis has done a remarkably bad job of re-introducing herself.
What does she have going on in her life?
An exciting new relationship with true Christian man John Janssen.
What are Alexiss interests?
Talking incessantly about her boyfriend, John Janssen.
What does she do in her spare time?
She has sex, four times a day, with John Janssen.
What are her goals in life?
The only thing I really care about is [Shannon redeeming] my mans name.
Meanwhile, Alexiss allies are doing their best to help her course-correct.
(They certainly have something in common!)
Let these girls get to know you as you, as Alexis, and not as Johns defender.
But and this is, again, no great surprise Alexis is doubling down.
And unfortunately for Alexis, she and John are now a package deal.
Alexis is certainly not the first Housewife to self-sabotage over the wrong guy.
Theres a proud tradition on these shows of riding hard for total losers including onRHOC.
(Vicki herself has comparedAlexiss blind loyalty toward John to hers toward Brooks.)
And Alexis Bellino is no Teresa Giudice.
For viewers, however, enough time has passed to declare Alexiss long-awaited return a humiliating failure.
Even her allies patience seems to be wearing thin.
