The Bachelor
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Can you believe weve made it halfway?
Weve gone through so many blonde Katherines.
So many registered nurses.
So many Sean Lowe appearances!
And what do we have to show for it?
Lets get into it.
This week, we wake up in Tallinn, Estonia, fresh and COVID free … you thought!
In a karmic twist of fate, Greer, of all people, is now under the weather.
But most pressing of all: What kind of super-antibodies does Gabi have to have escaped this fate?
Despite her aversion to kissing, she swapped saliva with Zach mere hours before he became a handsome biohazard!
Of course, Charity is getting the first one on one in Estonia because hers was canceled last week.
When they return to the room, the girls notice he has lip gloss on his lips.
Sherlock Holmes has nothing on them!
To cut the tension, Zach exclaims, Estonia!
and takes Charity away on her date.
The Zach Shallcross School of Conflict Resolution, everyone.
Once they leave, Brooklyn confronts Kat, telling her she ruined Charitys date.
When Kat says she just wanted her moment, Brooklyn cuts her off.
She has a laundry list of insults ready, telling Kat the move was classless and selfish.
See, this is the kind of drama I love good, old-fashioned You stole him drama.
Someone getting involved who clearly doesnt need to be there!
And, best of all, absolutelynothingabout Instagram followers!
This isThe Bachelorin its purest form.
During Charitys one on one, they parade around Tallinn in a horse-drawn carriage.
During acompletelyunplanned moment, they come across an Estonian wife-carrying competition because … of course.
But the second Zach gets Charity over his shoulders, he takes off.
Its all Charity can do to hold on for dear life.
Run like Greer is behind you, trying to talk about her quarterly sales numbers!
Back at the Swissotel, Kat tries to explain herself to Ariel.
Ariel: But you did pull him.
Zach wipes her tears and says he knows the feeling because he also lost himself in a previous relationship.
Look at him …relating(cough, cough).
They ride off in the horse-drawn carriage, and Charity gets the rose.
Shes the last one to get a one on one.
She says shes gonna box Kats ears off.
She says shes gonna lace that bitch up.
She said shes gonna roundhouse kick her off the balcony of the Swissotel.
Okay, maybe she didnt say one of those, but can you really remember which one?
Its one of those Were in an Eastern European country, the culture is sooooo different dates.
To quote Nicki Minaj, there are pills and potions.
Zach is wearing altogether too many layers.
After saging themselves in the name of love, they take turns staring at Zach through a candle.
Kaity and Zach share a deep moment.
Gabi and Zach gaze at each other lovingly.
And Jesss candle … goes out.The Bachelorisnt exactly known for its subtlety.
Its the night portion of the date, and … poor Jess.
She just had an anxiety attack about the whole situation.
I doubt this environment is healthy foranyone, but especially not her!
They start talking in circles: Shes insecure; hes shocked.
But right now, its obvious who his front-runners are and, more important, who they are not.
And if someones in the not category, theres very little they can do to change that.
Another victim of the Shallcross School of Conflict Resolution.
Zachs all shook up about Jess leaving, so hes not giving out a group-date rose tonight.
Brooklyn sharpens her knives.
Its Ariels one on one, and the one word Zach likes to describe Ariel with isfun.
Smacking each other with palm fronds?
Hanging out with a nude older couple who definitely showed too much cheek while getting into the hot tub?
Zach likes her because of her cute football helmet during the group date.
Id love to see her and Gabby Windey in conversation.
Zach uses the cocktail party to tell every woman he has a connection with them.
Brooklyn uses the cocktail party to interrupt Charity and Kats conversation about the drama.
Jokes on you, Kat: Producers are gonna make you deal with this!
Zach breathes a sigh of relief not to have to deal with womens problems.
Gabi, Kaity, Brooklyn, and Kat get roses, so Aly is sent home.
Another cool, normal woman bites the dust for a girl named Kat.The Bachelorhas worn me down.
Next week, were in Budapest, but later this season, Zach bans sex from Fantasy Suite Week?
But also maybe has sex?
Two words: Conflict.
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