The Bachelorette
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Im just really excited to see his hometown and meet his family!
I really need to let my walls down and express how Im feeling.
So what makes you so interested in my son.
He really just lets me be me.
Ive never felt more understood.
We have a great time together, but he hasnt expressed how hes feeling.
you oughta let down your walls if you dont want to lose her.
I know its scary, but love is worth it.
Im falling for you.
That makes me really happy.
Repeat four times and roll the rose ceremony.
WHAT A SNOOZEFEST!!!
Im sorry Im NOT SORRY!
What a goddamn snoozefest.
What is happening to ourThe Bachelorettethat we cant even get one Hometown date with any interest or drama?
All four of these dates were the same.
Oh, Ive got something: I truly forgot Marcus was a contestant.
Thats how bored I was.
I kept being like, Theres going to be four Hometown dates … who gets the last one?
This was a nothing episode.
This show has a distinct visual language, and Season twoVanderpump RulesGuys Night is not it.
Jenn, what happened, girl?
Are your relationship patterns so ingrained that youve basically ended up with three identical relationship dynamics?
PRODUCTION, WHERE WERE YOU?
The best we got for Jeremys date was a stroll through a grocery store?!?!
Im still thinking about that field trip over fifty years later.
But for a HOMETOWN DATE?
We couldnt flood the grocery store with Jeremys friends and exes, making some kind of emotional minefield??
I dont even work for you people and these ideas are GOLD.
Theres gotta be one museum within driving distance.
And where are the weird family dynamics?
Devin said his family was unconventional.
I dont know why he was so upset after his mom passed away.
Whatever he thinks of me is what he thinks of himself.
Everyone look: the gong is a real neat thing.
Your parents are divorced and your stepdad is named Todd, Devin.
Im not saying we need to torture these guys, but zzzzzzz!!!
So lets get into it in whatever way we can.
Devin
Devins hometown is in Houston, Texas.
Pros: Cute dog.
Tells Jenn hell need to lean on her, communicative and emotionally aware.
Cons: He picked a run for his Hometown date; where is the budget?
Where is the creativity?
Jeremy
Jeremys hometown is in Fairfield, Connecticut.
Pros: They already have an inside joke: Did you take me here to kill me?
Hes nice???
Cons: Their inside joke was funny the first time.
Seems to have been raised by haunted animatronics and cow mascots.
A Connecticut mom who is judgey but ultimately right?
The hero we need in these trying times.
Jeremy also says hes falling for Jenn but not Falling in love.
Did we lose the Falling in love step in the feelings stepladder?
Jonathan
Jonathans date is in San Diego, California.
Pros: Jonathan and Jenn make such a cute athlete couple.
The hottest jenntleman left.
Calls his mom his biggest star.
Cons: Honestly … where are the cons?
Im struggling to find any??
like, no one on the internet look into Jonathans past.
I want to have this memory forever.
Time for the rose cere…
Oh fuck!
I forgot Marcus again.
Marcus
His date is in Tacoma, Washington.
Cons: There was no activity on this date!
They didnt do an activity!!
What the hell is going on with this Hometown episode.
Were back at the Bachelor mansion for one last Rose Ceremony, and DAMN, JENN!!!
This white dress with this faux fur stole!
Finally, Devin, Jonathan, and Marcus get roses, and theyre heading to Fantasy Suites.
No notes, after she dates the most toxic barista in human history.
Next week: two back-to-back nights!
Fantasy Suites and The Men Tell All!
