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WhenRiverdalepremiered back in 2017, it quickly distanced itself from its source text, the wholesomeArchiecomics.
At its best,Riverdalewas a borderline Dadaist experiment in absurdity, a writing exercise in suspending disbelief.
In honor ofRiverdales series finale, we have gathered together the shows most ridiculous moments.
See, theres only one of you.
Were called the Red Circle and were coming for you.
We will find you, we will hunt you, and we will end you.
Of all thetimesfor Archie to keep his top on?!
But the season three premiere feels like some sort of rubicon.
The episode concludes with Pollys twin babies getting casually tossed into a bonfire.
But wait, these babies levitate in midair above the flames, no worries there.
The USO could never!
My guybuiltarocketwhile running an organ harvesting scheme?!
Cut to a rooftop standoff where Edgar is now rocking a red-white-and-blue Evel Knievel jumpsuit.
Take notes, future cult leaders!
So who can blame her for hanging out with her dead brothers corpse once in a while!
After they (finally) rebury Jason, a creepy redhead doll starts popping up around the house.
The whole ordealfinallygets Cheryl sent to a therapist.
in a mystery writing contest, he uncovers an authorship scandal.
He reports it to his teacher, Mr. Chipping, who seems to be the only sane adult around.
(This is gonna pay for our community college education!)
That sounds like a terrible life!
Archie cosplays as a bounty hunter.
Meanwhile, Cheryl and her prison escapee mother Penelope, start a ministrycalledOur Lady of Perpetual Maple.
Theres also a musical number fromHairbecause why not!
Archie channels his inner John Wick and runs off to beat up (maybe kill?!)
First, she changes water into maple syrup.
Next, she manifests the congregations collective pain into stigmatas on her palms.
Finally, she sticks her hands into a tank of angry bees and emerges unscathed.
Cheryl later confides in Kevin that she wasnt faking any of the miracles.
Im not saying Im the first-ever living saint, she says.
But what if I am?
Archie, Betty, Jughead, and Bingo the dog all get superpowers from the blast.
A lot of supernatural stuff happens.
Rivervale Jughead discovers the existence of Riverdale by finding a comic book with the same name.
Suddenly, she gets shot and… time travels back to 1944.
Tabitha returns to the present day by drinking a chocolate milkshake out of the literal Holy Grail.
(Oh yeah, Cheryl is pyrokinetic now.)
But Cheryls Marvel-esque efforts somehow send everyone back to high school… in 1955.
Only Jughead remembers life pre-comet.
When the shirtless men onscreen fail to fight over a girl, the pair begin to question their sexuality.
Horny as heck, they soon decide to go visit the local lady of the night.
The next morning, while watching the sun rise, the boys wistfully say that they love each other.
She can, however, restore their memories.
Poor Reggie is rightfullymiffedthat no one thought to invite him into this arrangement.
Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Jughead, all together?
