Summer House
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Lets look at our new girl, Gabby.
At dinner, she sits next to Danielle because the two women already know each other from Instagram stalking.
I shouted and hollered and rolled on the ground.
That is how you do a callback.
Look at when Brandi Glanville and Scheana Shay met up so that Lisa Vanderpump could launch a spin-off.
Brandi got all pissed at Scheana when everyone should have been pissed at the future Eddie Rimes.
She was as much of a victim of his schemes and lies as I was.
See, look at how exceedingly mature that is?
Oh, but wait, I did not finish that quote.
This is the Gabby of I will never date Cancer men no matter how hot they are.
This is the insane Gabby that got herself cast on Bravo: the Sociopath Channel.
Hello, this is giving me BGBE:Big Garcelle Beauvais Energy.
After last week, I thought Gabby was a crazy person and a lost cause.
This week, I think she might be the future of the whole show.
Speaking of the other newbies, the jury is still out.
Too much, too fast, too thick, Ciara says.
The English call a guy like this factor 50, which is also what they call 45 SPF sunscreen.
If you dont get it, just do yourself a giant favor and get intoLove Islandimmediately.
Sam, I cant really tell.
You need company for this?Coyote Uglying is usually an activity best pursued alone.
While were talking maturity, what about my imaginary husband, Kyle Cooke?
(Between pocket fries and bag sandwiches, this show is one fanny-pack taco away from beingDoomsday Preppers.)
Amanda was especially mature, talking to the women about her fertility issues with honesty and vulnerability.
So there is a lot going on.
Sadly, Danielle had already let this cat out of this particular Telfar clutch.
Should she have told Lindsay and Carl what happened?
I dont really want to get into it, but you guys really need to talk.
(While were on the subject, where did Rob even sleep?
Chris was passed out in various and sun-dried chairs.
Did Rob take a beach towel into the gym and curl up on the weight bench?
Whatever, this dude is a new hero.)
Where is that growth GIF?
Nothing has ever made me happier excepta collection of Rihanna leaving restaurants with a full glass of wine.
Look at how smart!
Kyle is admitting his mistakes, that hes in a difficult situation he is emotionally unprepared for.
Its as if hes about to ask Danielle for advice.
But I dont want to end with that.
This one was all maturity, all honesty, and all destructive.
Do you, though?
Paige says Danielle throws herself under the bus way more often than she needs to.
Look at what happened last year with her fight with Ciara.
Paige then breaks in with an iconic statement that I am quoting almost in its entirety.
Im gonna say something totally honest, and Ive known you for five years, Paige says.
Do they give you that?
Do they, though?
inStar Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
