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What a stress-free and absolutely not triggering hour of television!
What could go wrong?
Kick up your dress shoes and see how everybody is faring at the end of America Decides.
1.Jeryd Mencken
1.
Does it make you feel any better to know that he was going to win no matter what?
As he told Roman, If I lose, I want it correctly characterized as a huge victory.
2.The ghost of Logan Roy
2.
Ah, yes, Dad, that paragon of virtue!
3.Roman
3.
Just relentlessly, outrageously, false flagfalse flagFALSE FLAG!!!
Just in case you were still wondering: Does corporal punishment work?
No, it does not, because Roman is STILL so fucking annoying.
Not in a bad-parent way!)
was when he saw Shiv crying after her confrontation with Tom and offered to have Tom killed.
Yet these rankings are not about my personal preferences.
4.Kendall
4.
But the gap between those public-facing wins and his internal despair makes his position extra-precarious.
Kendall, no and absolutely lost at work, will not survive the season.
5.Cocaine
5.
What are you saying, all Aztecs are stupid?
Dont be a racist little bitch about it.
6.Greg
6.
7.Connor
7.
Id be more edgy about Connors extremely ominous concession speech America, be afraid.
Be warned, for the Conheads are coming.
if I took any of those Conheads seriously and understood what, exactly, they were coming for.
Sure, he didnt get the presidency, but he did get Slovenia!
And a wife who is with him until the bitter end.
8.Willa
8.
So she didntavert a Mencken victory.
At least she helped secure a decent position for her husband!
Was anyone else watching this coverage and imagining Kerry watching at home, sobbing into a takeout container?
She couldve been a contender!
9.Darwin
9.
Well …he tried?Tough to see the numbers clearly with wasabi and lemon LaCroix in your eye.
10.Matsson
10.
If Mencken is keeping his word, Matsson is screwed.
But how reliable do we really think Mencken is?
For now, Im putting Matsson low only because hes lost favor with the Roy boys, a.k.a.
the Roys who currently have the power to make things happen.
11.Shiv
11.
Shiv has a classic girl problem: She cant get away with the same tricks as her brothers.
But still, I bought that she was also quite concerned about Mencken getting the nuclear codes.
12.Tom
12.
The only thing Tom has going for him this episode is those good arches.
Theyve been remarked upon!
Everywhere else, the man is tumbling.
(Shivs perfect response: Oh, yeah,sort of.
Thats the part Im going to remember.)
First his wife goes Team Matsson, and now his girlfriend??
Its too much for one man to bear!
13.Rava
13.
14.The ATN IT department
14.
Your touchscreens go haywire on the air in the middle of a heated presidential Election Night?
Somebody is definitely getting fired.
15.Democracy
15.
So, that was a tough loss.
How do you feel after that?
