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Has Logan Roy been dead not quite two days?
Time for a family trip!
Probably its to get a sense of whether the Waystar and GoJo corporate cultures mesh?
Or hes just pulling their strings because he can?
Or both are true, and hes a dick?
1.Lukas Matsson, petty king
1.
Its not like Lukas Matsson is some incredible genius.
He has so much money and power that everybody has to dance to his tune.
Hes just like Logan was back in the day.
And when people venture to push back against him, Lukas calls their bluff with a shitty little grin.
Does he really want ATN?
Hes pulling the CEBros strings and making them miserable.
And theres nothing they can do about it.
2.Roman Roy, sad little boy
2.
Roman would surely tell me to rank him much, much lower this week.
Matssons dicking around with Roman and his brother finally causes Romulus to break.
He hates Matsson, he says.
He really just hates the Swede that much.
Yet itisa negotiating tactic, even though Roman doesnt intend it as such.
3.Shiv Roy, Logans true heir
3.
She shrinks a bit from the equvalency, but it does seem to tickle her.
Its a toxic asset.
They dont need it.
(They should just keep one of their dads old sweaters.
Its less racist.)
After all, we know how often Logans decision-making was driven by spite!
Maybe they wont realize it before she takes control for herself.
Wouldnt that be something?
4.Ebba, keeper of secrets
4.
That story might have been a tactic from Matsson to suss out Shivs loyalties.
5.Kendall Roy, paper doll
5.
But possibly also literally speaking thisisLogan were talking about.)
Kendall, who ditched the Vaulter negotiations for his fathers birthday party, looked weak.
It doesnt matter how many advanced degrees you have if you look weak.
Kill List sees him trying and trying to get the upper hand on Matsson and failing every time.
When the deal is finally done, its in a manner that has cut him out entirely.
Even if he seems like the hero, he has failed to assert his independence.
His authority is paper-doll thin.
Even Roman was more vital to the deal happening!
In the end, Matsson just doesnt give a shit, and Kendall does.
That will be our sad CEBros undoing every time.
6.Tom Wambsgans, Minnesota-core
6.
Does Tom pull out of freefall?
He lives to fight another day, and he and Shiv are talking about getting dinner.
Plus hes maybe, probably, going to be a dad, even if he doesnt know it yet.
Do I know why Tom pulled out of freefall?
He mostly embarasses himself on the Norway trip, trying too hard to fit in with the GoJo gang.
Maybe his core Scandinavian-ness just shone through?
Shiv/Tom shipper forecast:
Tom: Your earlobes are thick and chewy.
Theyre like barnacle meat.
How was your little chat with Lukas?
Shiv: It was good.
I mean, it was boring, but hes very conventionally attractive.
I used to think you were broad, but compared to him, youre wiry.
Youre like a fucking spelunker.
Swoon!Things are looking up for my fav couple!
7.The many strapping men of GoJo
7.
Theyre all, like, lumberjacks and Olympians.
Truly, Scandinavia is sending its best!
Speaking of …
8.Norway
8.
9.Gerri and Karolina, survivors
9.
The aforementioned list of proposed cuts thatdoesnthave Tom on it?
It doesnt have Gerri or Karolina either!
Things look good for the women of Waystar!
10.Greg Hirsch,anotherfamily member??
Honestly, whyisGreg there?
Nobody can quite say!
11.Connor and Willa, funeral planners
11.
Nevertheless, hes going to do this job justice.
He says hell go in the embalming room and throw my weight around.
If theres one place to make your voice heard, its an embalming room.
Keep speaking up, Connor!
12.The U.S., in its late-imperial period
12.
According to Tom, not the U.S.!
We have our own Paris, and when it burns, well build a new one.
13.Hugo, Karl, Frank, and others, the walking dead
13.
You know whoison the list of potential cuts?
Basically all of the guys in the old guard.
On finding out, they react exactly as you might expect.
(Hugo: That slalom motherfucker!
Frank: Naturally, its just speculation.
Karl: raises champagne glass Let the good times roll!)
Nicholas Britells score turns solemn and contemplative during this scene.
Most of these people are absurdly rich, and they will surely be fine with their golden parachutes.
But theyre still losing their jobs.
Who will they be without those jobs?
14.Logans corpse, possibly in a kilt
14.
Lets hope Connor can stop that from happening, or else Logans ghost might awaken from his days-long slumber.
Speaking of …
15.Kalispitron Hibernation
15.
See the movie everybodys talking about!
When the robot Kalispitron is awakened from his hibernation, will anyone survive his wrath?
Critics are saying:
Its intriguing!
Ebba
Its the big one.
It needs to be, strategically.
Theres a few issues.
Kendall
The first two hours of the movie is a sleeping robot, but we can fix it.
Roman
A triumph of experimental cinema!
Emily St. James
