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What in the hellwasSuccessionabout?
Was it a sitcom?
Treatise on abuse or on America?
Probably all of it, butSuccessionwas also about dumb people making dumb choices over and over again.
Sims can die from all sorts of things: appliances, vending machines, telescopes, evil chickens.
I downloaded @sams.simss own last-Sim-standing lot and made a few modifications.
I added the decorative pond from theGet Famousgame pack that could be filled with sharks.
I gave the Roys chickens in case Logan picked a losing fight with a rooster.
I added vending machines, because lets face it these Richie Riches dont cook.
In went Kendall, Roman, Shiv, Tom, Connor, Logan, Gerri, and Cousin Greg.
Overall, the Sims community provided good facsimiles of the cast save for Tom.
I had to get a custom content-adept friend to make a Wambsgans to my exacting standards.
But once the crew and pad were set, I simply started the game and watched what unfolded.
In more the style ofanother series finale, heres how everyone inSims-sessiondied.
.Connor Roy: Murphy-Bed Mishap
.
Connor is the first to bite it.
Its almost like the game knew he wasnt a significant enough character to waste CPU on.
Con foolheartedly tried to open all four on-lot Murphy beds at once.
He successfully got two down, but the third tookhimdown instead.
We have first blood.
At this point, Logans mood is characterized by the game as Very Happy.
Meanwhile, Roman is regulating his emotions by getting addicted to his phone.
He gets the Phone Fanatic quirk, which makes him check his phone at least ten times a day.
Its a good thing you cant send dick pics inThe Sims(unless you have theWickedWhimsmod).
The day after Con dies, it rains.
And because theres no cover, every appliance breaks simultaneously.
TheSuccessioncrew let every single electronic and plumbing fixture break on its lot.
Good traits include Natural Light, which increases your Sims photography skills.
But did I give the Roy-Family Death-Cult Compound good traits?
I gave it the Creepy Crawlies trait that causes random spider/bee/bat attacks.
If you touch these great balls of fire before theyve cooled into rock, youll catch fire.
This is something Greg Hirsch finds out the hard way.
.Logan Roy: Death by Standing Still
Fire spreads.
Did you know that?
Logan didnt.Logan Roybecomes a victim of his own indifference to the suffering of others.
If hed saved Greg, he would have been saving himself.
InThe Sims, his literal proximity to Logan is what kills him.
Death didnt even have to leave the lot between Greg, Logan, and Toms demises.
The whole gang goes down in about an in-game hour.
Finally, Gerri puts out the flames, refusing to go down with this bullshit family.
Kendall, meanwhile, has stayed in the pool this whole time.
Shortly after the triple lavacide, Harvestfest comes!
Harvestfest is an in-universe holiday inThe Sims 4during which garden gnomes appear on your lot.
You have to appease them with gifts or else theyll break your appliances.
Well, jokes on you, gnomes all the appliances on this lot are already broken!
Checkmate, you freaky lawn ornaments.
A Grim Reaper gnome appears in the sleeping area, perhaps as a callback to the games first death.
As a snobby Sim, Roman takes it upon himself to critique the gnome as a work of art.
.Gerri Kellman: The Poison Drips Through
Remember those random insect attacks?
Apparently they can be deadly.
Gerri got swarmed by poisonous bees.
They cause Gerri to break out in green splotches, and they poison her blood.
She gets a fever and eventually collapses and dies.
At the exact moment she dies, a vampire named Count Vladislaus Straud IV poofs into the compound.
He begins weeping for the loss of our dear Gerri because she isthatlovable.
He still leaves tons of empty green-tea cans, but its better than the living Roy siblings can do.
Even the ghosts are moved by Gerris death.
Thats not going to happen, Tom.
First of all, Molto Bene Italia Si Si doesnt do breakfast.
Also, your wife is about to die from rabies.
The Roys adopt a hamster named Hammy and never, ever, ever,everclean out its cage.
One day, Shiv plays with Hammy andbam!Shiv loses the most important game ofBiteyof her life.
The disease takes days to progress through Shivs body.
She gets a headache, then a fever, then dizzy spells.
Eventually she becomes contagious and spreads the disease to Roman.
In the last stage, she is puking her guts out into a broken toilet for 24 hours.
And you thought the Meal Fit for a King was gross.
Meanwhile, Kendall has gotten the Emotion Bomb quirk, meaning he can no longer control his emotions.
He also develops a strong fear of water.
Eventually, Shiv succumbs to her rabies.
She foams at the mouth and keels over.
After Kendalls good friend Death leaves, Kendall tells a secret to the hamster.
Undoubtedly, theyre bonding over both having killed someone.
.Kendall Roy: Drowning, Duh!
Could it have gone down any other way?
With no Colin to save him, Kendall falls into the drink one last time.
He loved teasing sharks, an activity the sharks were only so-so on.
Then he slipped on the ponds decorative rocks and became shark food.
All this takes place on Prank Day, when Sims play practical jokes on one another.
This joke isnt so funny to Roman, who is suddenly an only child but probably not an orphan.
It was never going to be Roman, and yet somehow its Roman.
If the game had martinis, Id make him one.
