Southern Charm
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First, we have to get reacquainted with the whole crew.
If idle hands are the devils playthings, then Shep and Austen are Satans anal beads.
Hes actually doing well.
He got all of the asbestos out of his house and half of his living room floor laid.
In the old days he would have gotten half of the asbestos out and fully laid on the floor.
The same goes for Pringle, but now that hes popped, he wont be able to stop.
Theres sadly not much drama between Craigy and Naom-Naom, as no one calls them.
However, whats up with them is certainly causing a rift between Craig and the other boys.
Yes, this is the price of success.
Before Craig just had to take all of Sheps snide insults because he needed to stay on the show.
Now he has a store, a girlfriend, andanothershow.
Hes washed that condescension right out of his hair and sent its on its way.
Craig has also pulled away from Austen for a very good reason.
He says that he was hanging out with Paige and Austen and Austen started squabbling with him.
Then Austen blurts out, Well, are you going to tell Paige that you slept with Naomie?
Apparently, Paige said, I already know, and youre some friend.
Both of these things cant be true.
Well, she made it last at least a whole season.
(But no more, sincethey broke up after filming.)
Kathryn is throwing herself a Roaring 20sthemed 30th birthday party, which is dumb for at least two reasons.
The other reason is that she is entering her 30s with the 20s.
She says she wants to start this new decade with a clean slate for herself and everyone.
The problem is that Kathryn still has the maturity of Violet Beauregarde before she ate the Everlasting Gobstopper.
When Naomie arrives at the party, she greets Kathryn warmly and moves on.
Kathryn, however, expected her to say, Thank you for inviting me.
Im so sorry for what happened.
Lets go have a talk.
And why would Naomie do that?
This party is not the place where they should talk.
Kathryn should be busy with her other guests (though this party does seem oddly empty).
But Kathryn gets drunker and drunker and her Retinol makes her chin redder and redder.
She pulls Chleb to complain that Venita and Naomie havent made eye contact with her since arriving.
Um, of course they havent.
She should be busy celebrating her birthday and they should be busy socializing.
Yes, itsherbirthday party, but its still a party.
Well, thats not entirely true.
Still, you get what Im saying.
Naomie says, But you tried to ruin someones family.
Yes, she did.
If anything, Kathryn should be the one who is ashamed.
Naomie tells her she doesnt like the way she fights.
When Kathryn asks which way that is, Naomie says, Dirty.
Kathryn reacts by calling Naomie a petty little bitch and saying she is fake.
She is projecting more than whatever is powering the holograms at that new ABBA concert in London.
