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To be honest perhaps too honest I usually avoid novels likeSarah Thankam Mathewss simply because I am jealous.
Mathews is 31 and beautiful, has an M.F.A.
from Iowa, and her debut sold at auction and was a National Book Award finalist.
But somehow I overcame my pettiness and picked upAll This Could Be Different, and guess what?
I was like,You go in a drawer.
I will come back for you in many years.
Did you get an M.F.A.
?I did, yeah.
So was that discarded book your M.F.A.
thesis?It was.
And I worked on it for years before the M.F.A.
I worked on it when I had a very demanding day job.
It was my writing true north for a while.
After the day job, I would write, most often at night.
I was living in D.C.
Looking back, I realize that book taught me how to write by failing.
What was your day job in D.C.?I worked in progressive politics at a public-affairs firm.
And I was in the process of discussing what to do next, what job.
I decided to at least apply for M.F.A.
So how did you sell your book?I wroteAll This Could Be Differentprimarily in 2020.
I began the year in a big-time depression because my other book was not working.
I couldnt make it work.
And I felt very chewed up by New York by virtue of not making enough money.
Theres no other way to put it.
What were your primary sources of income?I was the definition of a jane-of-many-trades.
I did graphic design, I did simple web design, I did project management.
I was a glorified assistant.
You name it, I did it.
I also did some freelance writing, but that never paid as well or as consistently as anything else.
Joyable?Its sort of turnkey online therapy.
So anyway, the depression got better.
This is going to come for us in 14 days.
I had been talking to my neighbor, who was a Bed-Stuy native, earlier that day.
I thought,What the hell would he do if there was an Italy-style lockdown?
I had time to check in with myself.
By early November 2020, I was looking for an agent.
Wow.I wrote the majority of this book in four months.
Writing like I never have before, writing like my hair was on fire.
Do you think your next book will happen like that too?Babe, I dont think so.
What was the process of selling it to a publisher like?
A lot of people wanted to buy it.The book sold at auction, which was a shock.
[She declined to say for how much.
And I was sitting on a large pile of my month-old laundry.
I just started crying.
Did you sell film rights at the same time?
Have you sold film rights?No.
What?Do I give off have sold film rights energy?
No, I just felt like the book was so cinematic.Oh, thank you.
What was getting nominated for theNational Book Awardlike?Bro.
And the first thought of my brittle, fragile brain was,Something horrible has happened.
I am being dragged for who knows what.
So I called my agent back and asked what was wrong.
He was like, Oh, so you dont know?
I burst into tears, mostly from shock.
It was just not what I expected.
And Im just going to see what happens here without hoping for a particular outcome.
And I think that was good for me.
Do you have student-loan debt?No, because Iowa is fully funded.
Who stood in your way?Same things that stand in all writers way: self-doubt and rent.
Emily Gould:I decided to have Sarah draw a tarot card from a deck I had with me.
I dont know, it just felt right.
She drew the Queen of Swords, which bodes well for her writing endeavors.
The Queen of Swords represents intellectual clarity and mental power in a feminine manifestation.
Still, she wants to check that you know its there.
