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Ash Gutierrez calls me from Los Angeles unfortunately, he adds.
A year ago, he wouldve preferred to be anywhere but his familys home in North Carolina.
But L.A. can be draining, he says, especially after spending his days in music-industry meetings.
Now, he cant wait to get back to where he grew up tomorrow.
At 18, Gutierrez is extremely perceptive of how hes transformed over the last few years.
Its also less angry than his past EPs, which Gutierrez credits to finally focusing on his social life.
Probably by the time I make the next album, my thought process will be completely fucking different!
Gutierrez comes back to the ways he might change multiple times during our conversation.
But the only thing that worries him is staying true in his music.
Its been three years since you started putting out music.
Now youre finally doing a full-length project.
Before I started working on that, I had not made 80 songs, like, in my life.
A lot of the songs now are very introspective.
I can criticize myself forever.
I dont have to talk to anybody to do that.
And I get it.
We went from loud like electronic production to loud band-esque production, like guitars and drums and shit.
Its energetic and theres vocal layers; it does hit the same points.
When I was making electronic music, that was not a conscious decision.
This is just the music that Im making.
And then the next fucking thing, the music will probably be fucking itll be different!
I dont really think about it that deep.
Obviously its not an emo-ass album, but its more that than it is loud electronic music, so.
Which is why it took so long.
I feel like I just didnt know.
Did the early songs sound very different, then?They were like, worse.
Its kind of hard to explain it.
Youve heard the album, so just imagine those songs, but written like old glaive songs.
It sounded like somebody wrote an AI glaive song, and then put it over fucking Midwest emo-core.
It just wasnt that good.
But I think trying out anything new, theres a little bit of a learning curve.
I didnt know how my voice sounded good over guitars.
Everythings just a little bit different.
Theres a lot more technicality to it.
And I didnt want every song to be a fucking guitar song that has loud-ass drums.
Like, trying to find places to make sad, slow songs, cause I be sad sometimes.
Theres so many artists that put out albums that have great songs, but the album is boring.
Obviously Im biased but I think this album is good I think every song is good.
Yeah, sonically, its not the same as any of the others.
I wouldve recorded that stuff when I had just turned 17.
Not hopeful, hopefuls kind of cringe and weird, but like, optimistic.
They were recorded when I had just turned 18.
So the year gap created a bit of a different outlook on life.
And did that feel true to you outside of making music?Yeah, dude.
Ive made a conscious effort within the last year to venture to be social and venture to make friends.
I went for like the first half of freshman year and then I stopped going in person.
So like, my managers 32, I can talk to him, its completely fine.
Lets leave this town!
You said its not a happy album by any means, but its also not overly dismal.
The last song seems to end on an uncertain note.
I was just making songs about how I felt.
The last song on the album, 2005 barbie doll, I dont really feel that way anymore.
But every time I tried to change it, it didnt feel as honest.
I just wanted to walk through life with no passion.
This is going to be so fucking cringe, but I genuinely would like to win a Grammy.
And I dont give a fuck if it doesnt happen.
I want to do stuff that can affect people in real life.
If it does anything for you, then thats the real goal.
And this is very cocky, but I think that I can do that.
But as of right now Im like, I just wanna take it as far as itll go.
And thats what I wanna do.
My actual goal would be to do music forever, which is unachievable, because everything has to end.
I either like quit music or I fucking die, theres an end to it.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
