Luann and Sonja: Welcome to Crappie Lake
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This is a woman who had a collision with a bush and she wasnt even driving.
This week, its even worse.
Shes putting on her blusher, as my grandmother would say, without one single hand on the wheel.
Even worse, it looks like her whole makeup bag exploded in her lap.
Yes, the motel is renovated and its looking nice.
Its the kind of place youd get lost for an hour if your edible is a little too strong.
The womens rooms arent that much improved, though.
Sonja says her room now has a walk-in closet because she can fit her whole body into the closet.
You cant say the same for her basement.
You cant get a full human down there with all the years-old Wesson oil thats been piling up.
Anyway, the best feature of either room is the giant cock painting that Sonja has on her wall.
No, not that kind of cock.
Billy sent me a picture of his cock!
she would have shouted at Luann when revealing her gift, in the scenario I invited in my mind.
(Catholic Jesus, I really need to stop watching reality television.)
Who knew that this countrys greatest wealth-distribution engine would be reality television?
I would make it my ringtone if this were 2004 and I still had a Swarovski-encrusted Sidekick.
That is not the first time that Craig has said that or that Lu and Sonj have heard it.
But at least Sonja decided to put her knickers on because there would be children present.
I mean, that didnt stop Sonja from flashing everyone her thong every time she bent over.
The episode was not without a little bit of drama.
But she has a hard time doing that because Sonja keeps changing the lyrics.
I think this is a situation where theyre both right and theyre both wrong.
However, Sonja keeps saying, Well fix this.
It will be great.
No, Sonja Sonj, the time is now.
(Blue skies, sunshine, white sands by the miiiiiiiiiiiiile.
Sorry, its stuck in my head.)
This is where Luann is right.
They do need to rehearse, so Sonja needs to get the song right and pronto.
But Im glad shes fixing it.
You just cant care about how good it is and not work.
Im as confused as these girls about how this is going to sell tickets.
At least production thought enough to get Paula a car and driver.
Do you know there are women around these parts putting their eyelashes on behind the wheel?
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