Love Is Blind
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Netflix stole golden goblets from the gods and gave them to man.
For this, we have been chained to these couples to watch them torture each other for eternity.
I need Albert Einstein to appear and be our moral compass.
I need that young upstart senator from Massachusetts to launch an inquiry into what is happening here.
We asked if we could, but we should have stopped to ask if we should.
We should stop this, right?
We should get everyone out and to a safe location, right?
Lets get into it.
Its 13 days til the wedding, and WERE STILL AT THE REUNION PARTY.
Lydia is smart and tries to pull Milton away from Uche.
Miriam stands up and tells him she could read him for the filth he is.
Do it, Miriam.
I dont care where you do business, just clear this fool!
Its really unattractive, and Im glad this party is the last we see of him.
Milton sits down with Uche and tells him, Hey, bro, this is three-dimensional calculus.
But theres another positively toxic situation that still has to be dealt with.
Izzy decides to sit down with Chris to just really drive home the fact that Johnie is super-sketchy.
Izzy, first of all, no one is trying to take advantage of you.
You dont have any advantages.
No woman is trying to get at those Dixie plates.
I couldnt picture a more guileless woman.
Somehow, both Stacy and Johnie are drawn to this conversation like moths to the drama-fueled flame.
Id say you two are even.
Johnie is frozen in terror, and all she can manage is, Wha thats not true?
Chris is losing interest in this conversation FAST and doesnt want to engage.
So Izzy and Stacy stumble home, and Izzy is fired up!
So he took it out on Johnie, someone he saw as an easy target.
Just look at how he calls Johnie a pod chick and Stacy his fiancee.
Thats a pretty big caveat on the question, my guy!
These are also two very drunk people trying to get at a fundamental mismatch of expectations in their relationship.
Izzy ends up crying, and, you guys, you’re free to just break up now.
He also gives her a booklet of romantic coupons and a plunger.
They still have men out here who make romantic coupons!!
But it works on Stacy, and theyre recommitted.
Its ten days til the weddings.
A much richer text is Milton taking Lydia to meet his family.
Again, his 24-year-old-ness is showing.
His sister straight-up calls the whole situation phony, and this woman is a hater.
I support her skepticism, but shes gotta deliver it better.
Lydia just says shes never had someone hug her so tight and treat her like a queen.
She says hes not her first love, but he is a lot of other firsts.
Same with Stacy and Izzy.
Okay, thats like entry-level.
Do you share a value?
A similar moral code?
(Other than destroying plain brunettes he once dated?)
Lydia says in her own fractured way that she worked on herself, and this is her reward.
Its time for the shopping trips!
Milton loves Lydias energy.
Izzy loves that Stacy knows what she wants (from the Neiman Marcus website).
Suddenly, were transported into an episode ofThe Bachelor.Izzy has set up a private-plane date for him and Stacy.
Thats not what she meant with fly private, bro, but nice try.
They practice their first dance together in the airplane hangar.
Stacy gets the one-on-one date rose.
Oh, sorry, force of habit.
She asks if hes thought about parenting styles, day care, and elder-parent care.
He also says he doesnt believe in hyphenating names.
Is this Miltons heel turn?
Yes, it is.
But before we can get there WHAT IS GOING ON WITH IZZYS CREDIT??
I hate to say it, but Im with Stacy on this one!
They end up coming together, but this is alarming.
As couples, were all only having one fight.
The variables or the way in might be different, but its the same fight every time.
I wish I could do something for you in those moments that isnt Its minute.
Dont give the other person that privilege.
One is validating and the other is dismissive.
Milton also says, I dont know, when Lydia asks him if he thinks she likes having disagreements.
Oooh, you must like being upset since youre upset so much.
Lydia, this is the fight you will have with this man once a quarter.
Assorted Pod Goss
Stacys little cute, silly voice haunts me.
Would I watch a spinoff show of Miltons mom guiding people through relationship drama with a SWOT analysis?
Yes, I would.
Give me six seasons.
The Monday flowers that Izzy gives to Stacy every week are load-bearing for his self-worth.
