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This story was originally published in 2018.
Since then, Guy Ritchie alone has crafted multiple ridiculous names for Jason Statham to inhabit.
The list has been updated to include these characters and the action stars latest unbelievable moniker inA Working Man.
Jason Statham: Hes fought drug lords, Mafia dons, Dwayne Johnson, and sharks.
One key difference: InThe Beekeeper, Statham plays Adam Clay, a pretty normal name.
Stathams a magnet for the absurd names, saysCrankandCrank: High Voltageco-writer/director Mark Neveldine.
Its his look, his presence, his voice.
He can truly pull it off.
Who can forget, This arm has been ripped off completely and reattached withthisfucking arm?
Below, we rank Stathams most ridiculous character names, from least to most wild.
Its all very complex.
(As always,#JusticeforHan.)
Handsome Rob,The Italian Job
Hes handsome, and his name is Rob.
Unimaginative, but accurate.
Its the name of a star on a middling CW sitcom.
Yes, Jason Statham uses a boomerang and turns into a book tornado.
No, dont watch this movie.
Nick Wild,Wild Card
It would be weird if your last name was Wild and youwerentWild, right?
For the salt-of-the-earth, tough-yet-tender family man who leads the gang?
A bit on the nose, but sure.
The Terry is a nice touch.
Keeps him from feeling like a Tom of Finland character.
Statham has a couple of names in this one: He starts out as armored-truck guard Patrick Hill a.k.a.
Mason Hargreaves is either a down-on-his-luck British aristocrat, a precocious 4-year-old, or a precocious aristocratic British 4-year-old.
If DreamWorks needs any more ideas for aBoss Babyspinoff, they can hit me up.
It sounds like someone with a head cold trying to say Warren Zevon.
Youve watched every scene, out of order, and you still have no idea what the plot is.
Until the end of time.
Any man named Orson Fortune looks like either Jason Statham or Rowan Atkinson, nothing in between.
We expect no less from the filmmaker who gave us …
4. and 3.
Turkish, at least, gets an explanation: He was named after a plane crash.
Is that his first name or his last name?
All we are is syllables in the wind.
And make a whole bunch of jokes about how short he is.
Yeah), and excellent (Terry Crewsis… Hale Caesar).
But really, you couldnt have gotten a Christmas comes but once a year joke in there?
Thats what aggressively straight dudes do, right?
Sit around and talk about each others penises?
I was just drinkin outta the Stanley Cup with Chelios last night, bro.
Bro, fuckin Chelios!
Put those together and you have a fuckin beast of a character.
If there ever were a Jack Kirby character come to life, its Jason inCrank!
Bonus: Silver-Painted Dancer, Erasures Run to the Sun music video
Behold your God.
